


It's Not Always That Easy

by zowieloey



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Addiction, Crying, Crying Stiles, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:02:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 29,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3585651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zowieloey/pseuds/zowieloey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyday it's like a nightmare. Waking up by screaming myself awake. Walking through the hallways alone unlike last time. Scars and cuts appear on my body but no one notices, no one ever does because no one bothered to care. Alone and scared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Academic Year

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing, sorry if it's not good! I had this story in my mind for some time, had inspirations from various fanfictions that I read. It'll also be inspired by something I read on Tumblr. The story starts from the '3 months ago' and it continues from there. Feel free to comment! It'll be much appreciated!

Stiles' POV

No one noticed. No one cared. Am I really just a person that they shared memories with?

3 months ago

I picked Scott and Issac up from their homes, and we went to the 'start of a new academic year' party that Allison hosted at her home. Her father was out of town and Lydia was able to persuade her to ditch her good daughter personality and rebel a little, after not that much persuasion, she gave in. 

The radio was playing some EDM music while Scott and Issac was chatting away about their wolf business. My window was down and I could feel the cool air against my skin, since young I've loved the cool air, it calmed me down. I could spend hours starring out my window and looking at the moon while feeling the cool air, Scott used to call me sentimental freak because of that but I didn't really care.

Once we reached we parked into the apartment's visitor parking space. We went straight up to her apartment unit and once we step foot into the unit, both ditched me, Scott went to find Allison while Issac went to hang out with some of the lacrosse team members.

Great, just great, I have the most caring friends ever.

I went to the kitchen by myself and poured myself a glass of punch and decided to just go to a corner of the house by myself and play with my phone for the rest of the night. Despite being on the lacrosse team, I really only hang out with Scott, Issac, Allison and Lydia, other than that, I don't really have much "real" friends. But since Allison and Scott is busy with each other, Lydia is flirting with a few guys I don't even recognize and Issac is hanging out with the lacrosse team, I feel more comfortable alone than to strike up a conversation with a random school mate.

After 3 hours, 23:00 PM

My phone started to notify me about my phone's low battery life and I decided to go down to my car and get my power bank. I really just wanted to get home, but since it was a party thrown by my best friend's girlfriend, I couldn't go home and just stay in bed and watch Netflix.

I got out of the door, and took the lift back down to the basement. Everything after that was so quick and foggy. I was suddenly attacked by a few guys. They started to beat me up and next thing I knew, they undo my pants and yanked it down. They stuffed a towel into my mouth to stuffle my screams and one them held my hands together because they kept flailing. After that I just kept screaming and screaming till my throat was so sore and raw. Next thing I knew I was crying so hard while pulling my pants back up and limping my way back to Allison's apartment unit so I could use her telephone to call the cops since my phone is completely dead already.


	2. Tears

I limped all the way to Allison's telephone and I could see Scott whispering something into Allison's ear that caused her to giggle. I could see she had a few drinks cause her face was slightly red while Scott on the other hand can't get drunk so he looks normal. I dialled 911 with shaky hands and I could barely see the numbers on the phone with me still crying so hard. When I finally dialled it, the woman on the other side of the line spoke and Scott suddenly grabbed the phone and pressed the hang up button.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING STILES?!" Scott screamed at me.

My throat was so sore I could barely breathe without feeling the pain so I kept quiet.

"DO YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET ALMOST ALL THE PEOPLE HERE ARRESTED?! WE'RE ALL UNDERAGE AND THERE'S ALCOHOL EVERYWHERE OR DID YOU FORGET THAT?!"

Everyone started to panic and scramble out the door, a lot of these people shoved passed me, Scott and Allison included. Soon, I was the only person left in the entire apartment and I limped all the way back to my Jeep in the basement.

Walking past that spot was pure torture, I really just wanted to get out of this entire place as soon as possible, I picked up my pace well, as fast as I can go at least. I finally opened the driver side of the door and got into the car. Even sitting down was hard, it took nearly a minute before I can sit onto the seat and another minuter before I can get used to it.

I finally started up my car and drove out onto the highway, but I didn't go straight home instead I drove into the wood where Derek used to live before moving into the loft. I stopped my car next to the house or what's left of it at least and got out of the car and went into the house.

I didn't really have an idea of why I was even there, maybe it's because its the only place I can be really alone.

Once I went into the house I went to a corner, leaned my back onto the wall and slowly slide down onto the floor. I drew my knees up onto my chest, wrapped my arms around them and slowly the tears just automatically welled up in my eyes. Before I know it, I was crying so hard it was basically a waterfall. I screamed and screamed, my heart hurt and my body ache.


	3. Phone Call

Stiles' POV

My phone kept on ringing (I didn't even realized I connected my phone to my power bank or when I even did it) in my pocket but I ignored it constantly. It wouldn't be hard to guess who was calling me, my dad. I didn't even know what the time was or how long I've been in the abandoned house. Usually the house creeps me out because people burned to death inside of it and I didn't even have to ask my dad or Derek of the number of body count cause I'll be uncomfortable knowing that information and of course there was Scott and me finding the corpse buried underground just outside of the house. That was when I realized, sadness really changes things. When you just want to dig up a hole and hide inside of it forever, it didn't really matter where the hole is or the history of it.

I finally dug my phone out from my front pocket and saw the 21 missed calls, all from my dad. I glanced at the time at the top of my phone and realized it was 12:30 AM. My dad didn't have the night shift today and I remembered telling him that I'll check in with him at 11:30 just to ease his mind. I quickly dried my tears and steady my breathing before calling him back. He picked up my phone on the first ring, I guessed he was holding on to the phone worried sick about me, that thought made me feel guilty. 

"Stiles! Where are you? I've been worried sick! I called Scott and he told me he didn't leave with you and he doesn't know where you went then I called Issac and he said didn't want to talk about you and hung up on me so what is going on Stiles? Are you drunk? Do you need me to come and get you? Yeah, you probably need me to come get you, so where are you, just give me a landmark and I'll come pick you up." 

I can't help but chuckle a little at the amount of words my dad is able to get out of his mouth without needing to pause to get some oxygen into his system.

"Dad, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm not drunk, I just needed to get some air, the party was getting kind of out of control and stuffy, I took my car to go for a drive so there's really no need for you to come pick me up, I'll come home right now."

"Are you sure you're okay son? Because you sound like you've been crying, and Parrish called me just now telling me that someone called from the party but it was quickly hung up so that went to check it out and apparently they found not only alcohol but also some drugs, so they have to carry out an investigation on everyone that was at the party which, you know, isn't hard to tell who was there considering it was nearly the entire school so you have to be investigated too Stiles, so tell me the truth son, did you consume any alcohol or drugs?"

I could literally imagine my dad in front of me giving me a stern stare and holding either side of my face forcing me to look him in the eye.

"No dad, I drank some punch and that's it, dad, honestly, I'm not even cool or popular enough to be offered alcohol so do you actually think people will offer me drugs for free? Even if I have to buy it, where do I even get the money dad?"

"Okay son I believe you so why don't you get your ass back home and I'll drive you to the hospital myself because everyone at the party have to go through a urine and hair test."

"Okay dad, just give me about 15-20 minutes."

The call ended. In that moment, I wonder can I actually handle a hospital visit. I could literally break down at the hospital and just blurt out everything and everyone will know, I'll be ashamed. If I really do tell everything, will anyone actually believe me? Who would believe the sarcastic and unpopular Stiles? Scott? He literally took Allison's side when the phone call was made. Issac? He didn't even want to talk about me to my dad. Allison? Yeah right, I probably caused her to be grounded until she's 30 years old. Lydia? Allison is her best friend and we aren't the best of friends so that means no. My dad? He'll be disappointed in me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated! I know my story has a lot of flaws but it is my first time writing so I hope you still like it! =)


	4. Selfish? Selfless?

Derek's POV

I wanted to go over a list I've made about how I should train the pack better with Scott so I told him to come over to my loft after the party though I knew it would probably be quite late but since even if I don't sleep my body will heal itself anyway I didn't think it'll be a big deal.

So, I was slightly taken aback when Scott showed up at 23:30 PM, I thought he would probably come over at about 1 AM, you know having a girlfriend and all. I asked him whether Stiles was busy that's why he sent him home earlier but all he said was "No, I don't wanna talk about it Derek, can we just go over this whole list you got.", I was going to asked him what's up with his attitude but decided against it as he really looks like he is in a bad mood. We just got through 2 bullet points on the list when Melissa called Scott. I wasn't eavesdropping, I could just hear everything through my hearing, you know, having "wolf" ears and all. 

"Scott, are you home now?"

"No, I'm at Derek's, why?"

"I need you to come to the hospital now. Everyone from the party have to be in here to get a urine and hair test because the sheriff's department got an anonymous phone call from the party though no one spoke they went to check it out and found alcohol and some drugs there, so everyone have to be tested."

Scott growled, like an actual growl.

"Scott, you okay there?"

"Yeah, yeah, mum, I'm okay, I'll be right there." Then, he hung up and sighed looking more defeated and stressed than ever. I've never seen that look on his face before. 

"So, what happened at the party?" I asked. As much as I don't actually want to care about their high school life with the party, homeworks, relationships and everything, I do care about my pack, if they're in trouble then it's my trouble to take care of too.

"Nothing, nothing much anyways"

I know Scott enough to know that "nothing much anyways" really means "everything is screwed up". I looked at him and shot him a "don't beat around the bush" look. He gave in knowing I understand him enough to know that's something wrong. 

"I'm pretty sure you heard everything my mum just said. The anonymous phone call that the sheriff's department received was actually from..." Scott started looking at his fingers as if all of a sudden it was the most interesting thing in the loft, it wasn't.

"Well, continue! Who was it from? Geez dude! Just spill it won't you, you're a werewolf but you're acting like a shy girl who's going up to her crush to confess!"

"It was Stiles! Stiles! Now he's got everyone in trouble including Allison and me! Especially Allison! The party was thrown at her house when her father is out of town Derek! Now they even found drugs there, what's Allison's dad gonna say about this situation? What's she going to think about me now? My best friend called his dad on her! How am I going to face her now? She's probably going to dump me now and it's going to be my best friend's fault! What am I going to do? I really like her Derek! Like REALLY REALLY like her!"

I looked at him, shocked. The first thing that came into my mind was how selfish he sounded. It was all about Allison and him, him and Allison and just keep on repeating the cycle. Even if I'm not Stiles' best friend, I know he would not have just done it without any good reason. Was Scott seriously that thick?! All he was caring about was he and his relationship. Was friendship nothing to him all of a sudden? I was actually mad, no, not mad, furious with him. How could he think of his best friend, or so he claims, to be like this? He knows, Stiles, the person that stayed holding him up for 2 hours in the swimming pool when he was paralyzed by kanima venom is not a selfish human being, no he wasn't, instead he is the exact opposite, he is the most selfless person I've ever met. That's one of the many things I really admire about Stiles.

"I'll drive you to the hospital, I need to check on the rest of the pack anyways." That's all I could get out of my mouth without completely showing I was furious with him though he probably knows. Scott could probably sense the madness radiating out from him in waves but whatever someone so selfish deserves people being mad at him. 

I grabbed my keys and went to the door.

10 minutes later

We walked in through the door of the hospital and most of the pack was already there, Issac, Lydia, Allison and now Scott, but Stiles was nowhere in sight. All of us were sitting in the waiting room when Stiles finally walked in.

Stiles' POV

I quickly dried my tears and went to my car. It was very late so there wasn't many cars on the road, I got back home in approximately 7 and a half minutes. I look like a mess so once I opened the door, I rushed up the stairs so my dad will not get to have a proper look at me and on the way up shouted to my dad who was sitting on the couch in the living room, "Gotta shower dad! Just give me 10 minutes!". I tried my hardest to sound cheerful.

Once I got into the bathroom, I quickly stripped off all my clothes, I couldn't wait to get out of those. I stepped into the shower and turned it all the way to the hottest part. I scrubbed, so hard, I want to cry but I got to pull myself together if I was going to go to the hospital with my dad by my side. I kept telling myself "I'll be okay, no one will know, no one will ever know, no one can ever know, as long as I scrub myself clean everything will be like it never happened", I kept telling myself that in my head, to the point it sounded like a chant. I know it wasn't true, I know it deep inside. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying.

I got out of the shower, and put on an oversized jacket, since I always felt much more protected like that with the extra space and the hoodie over my head, put on some skinny jeans and wore my black sneakers. I took one last look at myself in the mirror and told myself "you can do this Stiles, you're strong, you have to be, for your dad". Then I finally went downstairs to greet my dad, he already got the keys to his car and was more than ready to go.

"You smell too nice Stiles, did you use an entire bottle of body wash? Nurses are going to think you're trying to wash out the alcohol smell." He laughed.

Hearing him laugh actually made me feel so much more relieved and calm.

"No dad, I just didn't like the way I smelled before this." I chuckle a little, it was genuine though, it was my dad after all, the person who stood by me through everything. 

"I know, I know, I believe you." He said with both his hands up, looking like he's surrendering to someone.

Hearing him say that he believes me made everything better. At that point in time, I know I was going to be alright, not right away though, it might take months and maybe even years, but I know I'll be able to overcome this because I'll always have my dad. The person who I'll always love most and most closest to despite barely seeing each other.

We reached the hospital and was directed to wait in the waiting room. My heart was pounding against my ribcage so hard, I totally forgot I had to face my friends, or is it former friends now after the party? Either way, I know I have to do this sooner or later anyway, I do have to see them in school. My dad had to go check on the other kids, he is now on duty due to the number of kids at the party. I took a deep breath and finally pushed the doors to the waiting room open and stepped in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've not been updating, I've been really busy, but I promise I'll try to update more often now. I know my chapters have been short since the 1st chapter but I'll try to make it longer from now on. Feel free to leave comments! By the way, I made a small change to my 1st and 3rd chapter, very minor, just some time changes. So here's the thing, do you guys want Derek or Stiles' dad to be the first to find out about the rape? I'm going to leave the decision up to you guys! So please do comment!


	5. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all will like this chapter, the main focus is Sterek! :)

Stiles' POV

Once I stepped into the waiting room, everyone's eyes were on me. All I could do was stand there not knowing what I can do. Should I move to take a seat on one of the chairs? Or should I just turn around and wait outside the waiting room?

It didn't take a long time to decide though.

Allison stood up and was walking towards my direction, she didn't even look at me and walked outside but not before pushing me slightly to the side using her shoulders. Of course, Scott followed behind and he glared at me before going after Allison. I can't believe he glared at me, it was the last thing I expected from him. He could have just ignore me and continued following behind Allison but no he actually glared at me. 'Wow' was the only word that could be used to describe the situation at that moment in time. I've never seen my "best friend" glared at anyone before not even when he was furious when he thought Derek was the one that turned him into a werewolf, he never glared, not even when he was furious. I can't believe the situation is this bad.

I hung my head low and decided to just take a seat opposite the other "pack" members. Am I even considered one of them now? I didn't have the courage to look at the rest of them, I just sat at the seat closest to the door of the waiting room. I just sat there with my eyes fixated on my shoes like it was so interesting. All of a sudden, Derek decided to take the seat next to mine. 

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Derek asked. I'm surprised he even talked to me directly to say the least. All the times we talked one to one was never... let's just say civil. Then, all those other times we talked, it was more of a group thing, like pack meetings. 

"Yea-yeah, I'm fine, thank you for asking me that." It was a genuine thank you and I couldn't even believe that Derek was the first and probably the only person out of the pack to actually care about my well-being. 

"Of course he's fine, why wouldn't he be? He's not the one drinking or the one that brought the drugs or the one that is grounded. He is one thing though, he was the one that called the cops on us, he'll probably get a citizenship award for putting all delinquents behind bars. Everyone in the sheriff's department will probably shake hands with him thanking him for making Beacon Hills a safer place. Isn't that right daddy's boy?" Lydia said with arms crossed.

Of course Lydia would butt in, she'll do anything to make the person who cause her to be grounded feel bad. I didn't even try to answer her back because I know whatever she just said was partially true but I didn't call the cops because I wanted a citizenship award or I want people to thank me.

"Lydia, I'm pretty sure that I was having a conversation with Stiles alone and not anybody else in the room. So don't try to input your opinions here right now, they are not needed." Derek retorted her. I was thankful towards Derek, no one has ever stood up for me before, ever. But that could be because I was never popular, I only had Scott as a friend and no enemies, we were always in the background. But look how things have changed now, I have no friends and tons of enemies who are probably lining up dying to punch me in the face. I thank god at that moment that there weren't many people in the waiting room, most of the kids were outside, the hospital wanted to keep the least drunk ones in the waiting room and all the drunk and high ones outside so that they could be tested first and they would either be sent back home or to the station, they probably didn't want to keep the high ones in the hospital for that long that's why.

"Whatever, I would rather wait outside with the drunk ones than be in here with the one that called on the drunk ones." Lydia said rolling her eyes and she walked out the door with Issac tailing behind her. I'm not shocked that he's done with me too, he made it pretty clear to my dad, I didn't need another confirmation. 

"Thank you for that, standing up for me thing, but you really didn't have to cause she was right. I called the cops on them, all of these, us being here, you being here cause you're worried about your pack wouldn't have happened if I didn't call the cops. " I said shaking my head, tears were threatening to come out, I had to keep blinking so that it doesn't spill out. 

"Don't apologize Stiles, I'm sure you got your reasons for calling the cops and you don't have to tell me, I'm not going to push you to tell me the reason either and you're right I'm worried about my pack and don't forget that you're part of my pack too. I'm worried about you too. I know we're not that close or that civil towards each other every time we meet but you're pack, always." I never thought those words would come out from Derek's mouth, other than my dad, someone else actually cares about me. This just shows how bad the situation is, Derek, the alpha wolf who would only ask me to do research on this and that is telling me that he is worried about me and the people who are supposedly known as my '"friends" are not. The tears that were threatening to spill have finally made its way down my cheeks.

After that, we just sat there in silence with my tears continuing to make it's way out of my eyes. Derek's hand was on my shoulder the entire time, I guess that was the extent the alpha wolf could go in terms of comforting, I appreciate it though, I don't expect a counselling session from him obviously.

"I feel nauseous." I suddenly announced, I really did feel it though, my head was throbbing and my stomach was threatening to expel everything from it. I was suddenly gasping for air.

"Come on, I'll take you to the bathroom."

Once we stepped into the bathroom, I could literally feel the vomit in my throat, Derek brought me over to one of the stalls and I was barely in when I stumbled in front of the toilet bowl and starting expelling everything from my stomach. The combo of crying and vomiting at the same time was not fun to say the least, it was the worst feeling ever. I couldn't stop crying and my head couldn't stop throbbing, the pain is actually getting more intense. The journey from the waiting room to the bathroom stall made my crying go from silent tears to utterly bawling. Even when the vomiting stopped, I still kept on bawling.

Derek then pulled me into his arms, my arms were flailing so hard to the point that it kept hitting Derek's back. I don't even remember how long that episode when on but in the end I was just hugging Derek and crying. I'm not going to lie the hugging gave me comfort, I was shocked at myself though, didn't think I could have allowed anyone to come that close to me, I guess that's what pain could do to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, most people want Stiles' dad to know about the rape first but I'll continue taking in everybody's opinion on who should know first because that chapter will probably not be up so quickly. Do continue to give me ideas on how Stiles should tell anyone about the rape though, it doesn't necessarily have to either be Derek or Stiles' dad, I read all the comments and there was a lot of great ideas on how anyone should find out about the incident, if there are anymore ideas please comment, I would love to write about the ideas!


	6. Friends?

Derek's POV

I'm not even sure if 'scared' will be sufficient enough to describe what I'm feeling right now. I was afraid and though I would hate to admit it, shaken. I've never seen anyone act the way Stiles was behaving right now. Moreover, I didn't even think that Stiles would ever be capable of having exhibiting such a behavior. To me, he was always the sarcastic and annoying Stiles, until now it seems.

I've never been this close to anyone before, let alone Stiles, hugging or anything close to even touching is foreign to me but the way Stiles was behaving and how afraid I was at the moment, it actually seems... fine? 

After he calmed down, we got out of the bathroom stall and he went straight to the sink while I leaned against the wall, watching him closely, It wasn't because I was trying to see whether he was crying or anything of that sort, but I was trying to focus on my sense of smell and just trying to read him, but it seems like smelling isn't doing any good especially when the the entire bathroom smells like vomit and sterilizing solution. Reading him looks to be the better choice of the two. 

In that moment, Stiles looked like a scared little boy who couldn't take the suffering of vomiting. He looked to be timid and scared, a look I thought will suit anyone but him, Stiles was suppose to be the crazily brave one in the pack, the one that hunt for corpses out in the woods in the middle of the night and the one that almost had a heart attack trying to saw my hand off.

But at that moment, he just seems... broken.

Stiles' POV

I didn't know how to react, I was just standing over the sink washing my mouth and face and I knew Derek was by the wall basically using his eyes to drill holes into my face. I felt ashamed breaking down in front of the guy that I usually make fun of, he doesn't have a clue what happened to me and yet I'm dumping all these on him, yes, he may be my alpha but he has got enough to worry about with all the supernatural things going around Beacon Hills.

After I'm done washing up, I turned to him and apologized.

"I'm sorry for whatever that just happened, I couldn't help it, I just needed someone to be there and you know, you just so happen to be... here." I could hear my voice breaking at the end of the sentence. 

"No, it's okay, but if you don't mind me asking, did something happen? I mean I'm not trying to pry or anything, I was just wondering but you don't have to answer me if you don't want to, I just thought that you might want to but I guess it could be uncomfortable to tell me so maybe you just shouldn't tell me." I got to admit, I was kind of amused by the big bad wolf, he was actually caring but stuttering and blushing at the same time, not to mention he looked sheepish. Cute. 

"Oh, nothing happened, I mean yeah of course something happen with the heated exchange and everything in the waiting room but I'm fine, it's just a lot to take in for one night."

"Let's get back outside, it should almost be your turn." I could sense that he didn't really bought my 'nothing happened' speech but I was thankful that he didn't try to push me into telling him, he respected me and I couldn't be happier. Even though I never admitted it out loud, I've always looked up to Derek, he cared about his family, his pack and would protect them even if it means hurting himself.

We walked back outside and didn't see any of my 'former friends', I peered into the waiting room and saw them inside. They were talking and there was even laughing and giggling, I guess they are better off without me, the 'bad guy'. I didn't want to go back inside but neither did I want to stay outside the waiting room with most of the kids giving me death glares. One of them even shoved me while walking past me and threatened me.

"Daddy's boy want to get daddy a promotion in the sheriff's department to increase your economic status in Beacon Hills? I wonder if the promotion will happen if the sheriff's station is burned down the same way the Hale house was by that psychopathic Argent bitch with your daddy in it? When that happens, I'll make sure you'll be standing right outside of the station watching your daddy get burned to ashes." I recognized the guy as one of the most well known bad boy resident of Beacon Hills High School, he was a senior and obviously a bully. I was too shocked to even retort him back but even if I do it won't be the usual sarcastic remark.

"If you like my burned down house so much, why not I make an exact replica of it using your house? I'll play the role of the psychopathic bitch that sets the house on fire and you can be one of my family members being burned alive. I think I'll make a convincing psychopath after everything I went through in my life and all the anger I still have bottled up inside of me, so when should we have the role play? I'm free any day all year long, just give me call and I'll be right there with a box of gasoline bottles" Derek retorted him with a death glare and the same 'I'll rip your throat out with my teeth' look he gave me before. I felt so stupid and weak but happy all at the same time. it's that even possible? I feel stupid and weak because I never needed people to have my back whenever I'm looked down upon, I was always able to get through those by myself but I'm happy because I actually have someone that got my back now, not just someone though, I got Derek.

The guys swallowed the saliva in his throat and turned around, looking like he was about to pee in his pants, obviously afraid of Derek.

"You didn't have to do that for me, really, I mean I guess I deserved it." God! I sound so pathetic right now!

"I didn't have to do it but I wanted too and you don't deserve any of the shit that has been piled on you these past few hours." This is why the situation is so terribly bad, the person who I thought will be the last person on earth that would give a shit about me actually gave a shit about me! The person who I thought would give a shit about me... didn't, and by 'the person' I meant Scott, my 'best friend', my 'brother'.

I cleared my throat and said I wanted to go outside of the hospital to get some air and will tell my dad to text me when it's my turn.

"Do you want someone to accompany you? You look like you need it." As much as I wanted to decline the offer I couldn't bring myself to do it, I needed all the 'friends' that I have right now, it's that what Derek and I have become? Friends?

"If you don't mind?" He gestured a 'come on' with his hand then lightly place his hand on my back and accompanied me outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys will like this chapter!


	7. Tests Results

Stiles' POV

Everything passed by in a haze after the walk Derek and I took to get some fresh air. I was called in for the tests and was told that the results will be known the very next day at noon. After that, my dad drove me back home and I texted Derek a thank you for everything that happened and went to bed. I remember crying to sleep that night thinking how did a few hours change everything in my life, rocking the foundations of my life. Only a few hours before, I had a best friend or should I say "brother", a pack and having a status of being relatively unknown. Now? I have lost my best friend, my pack members and became popular literally overnight and not even the good kind of popularity. In comparison, I prefer the title of "Scott's best friend" over "the guy who called the cops". All my friends and school mates hated me and I felt a pang to my chest thinking how could Scott out of all my "friends" not defend me? How could he not ask me why I did what I did? How did Derek become the only person that could actually know I did what I did because I actually have a reason to do so? How could he abandon me? All these thoughts and questions haunted me that night and I'm pretty sure will continue to do so for many days or weeks or months to come knowing I only have 2 person to depend on from now on.

The very next day I woke up with my eyes being swollen, red and puffy which was expected due the the amount of tears that escaped my eyes during the night. I bathed and got dressed knowing that all the students from school that were at the party are to report back to the hospital at noon. I went downstairs after that to prepare breakfast for my dad and I, I decided to make pancakes instead of eating the usual granola bar, feeling the need to get something sweet into my system so I won't feel as shitty as I do. As I was making the pancakes, my dad made his way into the kitchen.

"Morning dad." I turned around to greet him, my voice sounding tired. I could see he was having curiosity in his eyes due to my puffy eyes.

"Morning, what are you making? You rarely cook in the morning, are we out of granola bars and peanut butter cups or are you trying to tell me something about the results of the tests later?" He chuckled, I was really grateful to my dad for not questioning me about my eyes and was even trying to lighten up the mood. 

"No and no dad, I just woke up feeling like eating pancakes, I can't just eat granola bars and peanut butter cups for breakfast for the rest of my life you know dad."

"I know I know, just wanted to pull your leg a little. So peanut butter, honey or maple syrup?"

"Dad you always ask me the same question each time I make pancakes, it's always going to be-"

"Peanut butter and honey." My dad cuts me off, I smiled, I love how he knows me but will do anything to lighten me up when he knows I'm having a bad day.

Since I was young, whenever pancakes are made in the house it would always be peanut butter and honey for me, my dad will always have the maple syrup though the older I got and the more I cared for his health, the lesser the amount of maple syrup there are on his pancakes. 

We ate our pancakes in silence, and after that I cleaned up the table and washed the dishes while my dad went to get ready to fetch me to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, we made no conversation and the only sound that was in the car came from the radio. Once we reached the hospital, I saw Scott's bike and Allison's car while Lydia's vehicle was nowhere in sight, so my guess was that Lydia carpooled with Allison to get here while gossiping about me behind my back (typical girl talk?), I'm guessing. 

We got inside the hospital and I made it a point to only go inside with my dad, afraid to see my "friends" glaring at me, call me chicken if you want but that feeling of seeing your friends turned to former friends in just a few hours is just too much to take in. I was secretly wishing to see Derek there, but I barely looked up from my feet since we stepped foot into the hospital so I wouldn't have noticed even if he was there. We went the counter and greeted Melissa, I was wondering whether Scott told her that I was the one that called the cops on them, if he did then she was doing a good job of not letting disappointment show on her face. I mean I'm guessing disappointment will be the accurate feeling since I was the one that caused her son to get in trouble. My dad continued to chat with Melissa while I was leaning against the pillar continuing to look down at my feet not wanting to make eye contact with anyone there. 

"Hey, feeling better?" I looked up and saw Derek. I could feel happiness bubbling at the pit of my stomach which is kind of ironic due to the situation I was actually in. 

"Hey, yeah feeling a lot better, thanks for asking." I smiled sheepishly. 

"No problem, just caring for a friend." Then he smiled, an actual smile! I have never seen such a thing on his face before, it's a good look on him.

"You should do that more often." I couldn't help but keep on staring at him.

"Do what?" He looked at me confused.

"That, smiling expression, it looks good on you." I was telling myself how stupid that sounded after that sentence left my mouth. I was mentally punching myself wondering why the heck didn't I think before opening my mouth.

"Thanks." He sounded unsure, I guess not many have complimented him on his smile before probably because they have never seen that expression before. I took a moment to wonder whether I'm one of the lucky few who have seen it. 

We stood there in silence while my dad and quite a number of other sheriffs talked to the medical team about the tests results. After eavesdropping and constantly disrupting my dad while he was working for so many years I could already guess what was going to happen. They were to suspend the driving license of those who were drunk and decided to drive themselves home the night of the party, they are most probably going to get suspended by the school too and arrest those who were tested positive for drugs who will also have a high chance to be expelled from school, the rest will be sent home and most probably get grounded by their parents. I couldn't help but feel guilty just a little but I didn't mean for any of these things to happen. I didn't mean for kids to get suspended or expelled, I didn't mean for them to be grounded by their parents and I definitely didn't mean for my friends to hate me due to a phone call that wasn't even meant for them. I never meant for anything to happen like this, this was not the situation I have planned out for anyone or myself and I especially didn't mean for the assault to happen to me. I could feel the tears that have stopped during the night threatening to spill out once again. Why is my life so pathetic?

Thank goodness the sheriffs and doctors chose that time to interfere with my thoughts. 

They went on to arrest those who were tested positive for drugs and boy were they quite a number of them, there was about 15, mostly seniors which was expected, they were the bullies and bad boys of Beacon Hills High School, only 2 of them were in the same grade as me. The rest who were not arrested either got their license suspended or sent home, majority of them got their license suspended including Lydia and Allison, Their hate for me definitely went up a notch. Scott and Issac didn't, though I knew that has got something to do with their wolf healing thing which couldn't cause them to be drunk but I'm pretty sure Scott is more pissed off at me than the day before because of his girlfriend. I was one of the "lucky" few that got sent home without a warning, I didn't feel "lucky" though.

Scott came over to where Derek and I was but he was definitely ignoring me and pretending I didn't exist. 

"I'm gonna leave first, gotta get my girlfriend home since she can't drive now." He told Derek, but it was definitely directed at me since he emphasized "girlfriend" and "can't drive now" which was weird cause he have never said girlfriend before since we all knew her, it was as if the underlying message was "I choose relationship over friendship now."

Derek just nodded, looking slightly pissed? At least that's the impression I got. They then left the building and by "they" I meant the rest of the pack.

My dad came over and told me he gotta get to the station to tie up the loose ends and told me to grab lunch nearby so that i could wait for him to be done with work and get home together. Honestly, I didn't feel like going to the station, I didn't want to see the kids who got into trouble with the law due to my doing but I didn't have a choice, I didn't have any other form of transport. 

"How about grab lunch with me and I'll get you home? You look like you need to get some sleep so I don't think you should go to the station for so many hours. But that is of course if you don't mind it sheriff?" Derek politely asked my dad and I.

"Sure I don't see why not, Stiles does look tired. Call me when you get home." With that he left the hospital to get to his car.

"Come on, let's go grab lunch I'm starving." Derek said while walking towards the entrance of the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all will like this chapter, sorry if it's been pretty boring, I haven't gotten to the climax yet. Feel free to leave comments, it'll be much appreciated! Thank you!


	8. No One Cares About Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is up! Hope you all will like it :) Comments are very much appreciated!

Derek's POV

We went to a fast food restaurant that was located on the outskirts of Beacon Hills figuring that Stiles wouldn't want to bump into anyone from school since it isn't that big of a town. Not long after we got into the car, Stiles fell asleep while sitting on the passenger seat so I decided to drive slow as to not disturb him. I have to be honest here, I wasn't very comfortable, not because it was Stiles that was in my car but instead it was the silence surrounding it and not because it stemmed from his sleep. He didn't say a single thing since we got into the car which is not him, he's the type that always talks as if he's nervous all the time, he babbles - a lot I might add - about everything which includes current events, movies he watched, his dad, what he ate so technically... everything.

Once we got into the car, he turned away to look at the window and didn't say anything, I was starting to be worried about him which was ironic because he was the pack member that I was always least worried about, he could get through any situation by himself and at the same time also help others. Not long after that he fell asleep, I constantly look over to him while I was driving, he looked like he was in pain and suffering as he was silently crying.

I can't help but begin to wonder what happened the night of the party. What events that could have taken place that led Stiles to make that call? He couldn't have make that call just for any reason, if he actually went to that party that means he wouldn't have done anything that could hurt anyone in the party moreover, he himself was at the party, someone as smart as him would not be dumb enough to land himself in the hospital to get tested if he was the one that cause the party to be busted. What actually happened to the annoyingly sarcastic Stiles? Could one night really change everything? Just because he lost all his friends? No matter how hard I try to wrap my head around all these thoughts, it just doesn't add up. All the answers and scenarios I try to make up didn't seem to fit. I was even starting to get a headache from all the thoughts of how pack meetings are going to be held from now onward, especially the thought of having Stiles and Lydia in the same room. If it was the old Stiles, the both of them will be at each others throats, despite Stiles liking Lydia, both of them had strong personalities and if they didn't agree on something they'll fight till the end to see who wins but if it was up to the Stiles that I just knew these 2 days, he would sit down quietly and not retort back while Lydia bark out hurtful remarks about him. Sometimes I wonder why my pack only consist of high school students but when real shit happens I know I could count on them to be there for each other... until now at least. I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to noticed that Stiles has woken up.

"Did it hurt a lot? Back when Kate betrayed you and killed nearly your entire family?" Stiles spoke suddenly, voice breaking and shaky, still facing the window.

"No." I was taken aback by the question, no one has ever asked me what my feelings were of that incident with Kate smack in the middle of it, I didn't really know how to answer.

"No?" He finally turned to me, eyes red from the crying, looking at me with one of his eyebrow arching up knowing that my answer wasn't just so simple.

"I guess I was blinded by my anger and stupidity back then."

"Did you ever forgive her?" Stiles asked, looking back at the window.

"After Peter killed her." I still wan't comfortable about talking about Kate, so I gave as short of an answer as possible and didn't want to elaborate much on them.

"Did you ever expect it or least thought about being betrayed by someone close so close to you?"

"Never, but when I knew it was Peter who was causing Beacon Hills to become chaotic I start to wonder whether I can trust anyone."

"I know the feeling." I heard Stiles mumbled though I was guessing that he didn't really mean for me to hear it but couldn't help it, misery loves company after all.

"I believe that you didn't call for nothing you know, maybe if you explain it to them they'll understand." 

"Understand?" Stiles looked at me with so much hurt and anger in his eyes that my heart actually clenched at the sight. "They didn't even try!" Stiles shouted, tears pooling at his eyes threatening to fall at any moment. 

"Stiles-" I wanted to console him but was cut in by him.

"They took everyone else's side before hearing me out! They didn't even want to know, they just went with the crowd! Scott instinctively took Allison's side because the party was hosted by his girlfriend! EVERYONE! EVERYONE took their side!" The tears that were pooling naturally found their way down his cheeks, but the tears didn't stop. "They didn't want to know anything, they wouldn't want to hear my side of the story because I got their girlfriend and friends in trouble. NO ONE! No one wanted to know and hear me out. No one." Stiles said the last sentence quietly, his voice very clearly laced with hurt and betrayal.

I couldn't argue back because I knew whatever he said was true, every single word. I was upset with the pack, they who showed they had great leadership within them and wouldn't leave a single pack member behind when supernatural beings threatened the pack have at this time chose to turn their back on one of the pack members.

"Sometimes I wish that none of these happened, that Scott and I could just return back to being nobodies because at least back then I had him but now? I lost every one of my friends. I lost everything that ever mattered to me."

We finally reached the restaurant but the entire meal was eaten in silence. Stiles barely ate, he only ordered curly fries and I didn't want to ask whether he wanted anything else afraid that he might have another meltdown if he even as much as opened his mouth. I drove him to his house to drop him off and he muttered a thanks to me without looking at me. As I drove home, my mind couldn't help but wander back to the conversation we had in the car. I've never seen that side of him before, something must be really off.

Stiles' POV

After Derek dropped me off, I ran into the house and straight up into my room, I then changed out of my clothes and put on an over sized hoodie and a sweat pants before going onto the bed and curled up into myself. I wanted to forget the conversation I had with Derek, I shouldn't have said any of that, he is the alpha werewolf of the pack, what if he tells them what I said? What if they think I'm pathetic and just want sympathy? I should've thought of all these before I even opened my mouth. God! Maybe even Derek think I'm pathetic. After thinking about it for some time, I came to the conclusion that it didn't matter if Derek told them because I didn't lie, everything I said was true, it didn't matter anymore, none of them cares anyway. That thought actually hurt, school is reopening on Monday and the thought that I will no longer have friends to sit at lunch with hurt, a lot. 

My eyes drifted to my study table and I spotted a blade. I used to ask myself why people commit suicide and where they got the courage from. I guess I got my answer, when you're desperate you can do things you never knew you could before, when you're pushed to the brink and have no where else to go to, you're capable of doing horrific things you never knew you dared to before. I went over, pushed up my left sleeve, slid the blade out and lightly traced it around my arm, as I got curious about how it feels like to have it deep inside of your skin, I don't even hesitate when I slashed it across my arms, it created a cut about 5 centimeters long and blood was slowly oozing out. I observed it as it went from a lighter shade of red to a dark red, it can't say it didn't hurt but the hurt I was suffering from due to my friends hurt more, I started crying, it went from a few tears to a total waterfall. Even though there were no one else in the house other than myself, I muffled my tears using the sleeve of my hoodie.

After calming down, I went to bandage my wound, I didn't want to die, I really didn't, but I can't lie when I say I felt relieve after doing it, for a moment I was at least projecting my hurt onto something more physical, it felt right. I logged onto Facebook after that and my wall was filled with hate messages.

"You don't deserve to live!"

"Kill yourself!"

"Don't show your face at lacrosse practice!"

Of course it would be filled with messages like this, what did I expect? Someone to stick up for me on social media like Derek did in the hospital? I deleted my account without hesitation and went on to delete my Twitter's account as well. I was really dreading Monday.

 


	9. First Day

Stiles' POV

Since getting my tests results back, I have rarely left the house, my dad did question me about that but I just lied and said that I just feel restless due to school reopening and though I'm pretty sure he didn't but that excuse he didn't want to push it. Long sleeve shirts, jackets and hoodies have become the only fashion trend for me because they covered up the bandage that I had wrapped around the cut which I obviously didn't want m dad to see. The past few days have been hell, despite terminating all of my social media's accounts, the hate the students have for me came in other forms such as text message, emails and letters. They apparently hate me so much that they would take the time out of their schedule to send me letters just to tell me how much of damage I have done to their life. Thank goodness my dad was rarely home (which I was used to) and I am always the one to take the letters and my best guess of how they got my phone number and email address is from the members of the lacrosse team.

I blamed myself that time because of how weak I was. I didn't do anything wrong did I? But yet I was the one being punished and hated on. I especially felt hurt when I got text messages from both Scott and Allison.

Allison: "I can't believe you would tell on me especially when you were of them who supported me throwing a party when Lydia convinced me! You should really stay away from me and everyone else and don't you bother even trying to think up excuses to cover up why you did what you did, I'm sure whatever excuse you make up wouldn't convince me or the others."

Scott: "You really shouldn't have done what you did Stiles, Allison did nothing wrong to you, no one did but yet you got everyone in trouble, I don't know how I didn't realized how much you've changed. Don't bother replying cause I won't read anything from you anymore."

I wanted to scream at them, being friends for so long I didn't realize that they never really knew me. I'VE changed? Me? Would they look at themselves? I couldn't help but cry, why did whatever that happened to me happen? I've never hurt anybody before why was I being punished?

Since that day of me cutting myself, I kept the blade close to me, taking it with me everywhere I go in the house, I wasn't going to kill myself I just feel that whenever things get to hard for me emotionally I could get some form of relief from it. I could never sleep properly cause nightmares plagued me a lot. I also barely eat knowing that I will mostly vomit it out.

I didn't see Derek anymore since my breakdown in front of him. He did text me though but I never reply him.

Sunday night eventually rolled around and I spent the entire night rolling round my bed, I was nervous and scared. Should I go to school earlier so that not many students will be there yet? Should I just ditched the entire day? Should I skip first period? Even though I wanted to say yes to all 3 questions, I know I can't avoid school or my former friends or the students there forever, I still want to graduate high school and with my dad and I struggling financially right now, repeating a year or even a semester is definitely not an option. Because I had the entire night to do nothing, I suddenly thought of what Derek said, about trying to explain to the others why I did what I did, my conclusion after endless thinking is that maybe one of the reason I don't want to tell anyone is because the one I always tell secrets to have decided that I don't exist in his life anymore. It hurts thinking about the conversations we had before everything was turned upside down. We talked about how we were going to improve ourselves in lacrosse, how he's going to set me up with a girlfriend (though I don't tell him I'm bisexual) and how he was going to get into all the classes Allison is in. That one damn night screwed everything up for me.

I decided to go to school earlier and don't even wait for the alarm to go off before I got out of bed. I went to washed myself and that was when I realized, looking up into the mirror, I looked... different - and I mean in a bad way not in a after one summer I come back looking like I went to military camp type of way. I had eye bags, dark eye circles and my cheeks had sunken in. Will Scott or anyone of my former friends notice? Even if they do, will they care enough to come ask me what happened? I shook my head knowing that it is highly unlikely. 

I drove to school about 30 minutes earlier than I normally would and I was right because there weren't a lot of cars here yet, so I will most likely not get bashed on yet so early in the morning. After going through the corridor unharmed but was definitely verbally abused by a few kids that were standing by their lockers, I was already worried about another issue - lacrosse. Among all the sports team in school, lacrosse and swimming houses the toughest guys in school which is ironic cause I'm in lacrosse and I only consist of fragile bones but other than me the others are very tough physically. Most of the guys on the team ignores me but I'm sure it's different now since everyone seems to be buying tickets to bash me at least once, out of everyone there's probably only 4 guys that wouldn't hit me who will be Greenberg, Danny, Scott and Issac. Scott and Issac will just pretend I don't ever exist and look past me whereas Danny is the school's nice guy representative (in a good way not a sarcastic way) and Greenberg just doesn't care much.

I quickly went to my first class- Economics-and found my seat, though I would usually sit in the middle section but this year I chose to sit at the far end of the classroom, next to the window and the last row. After analyzing the seating chart over and over in my head a billion times, I have come to understand that if I sit at the other table which is in the last row it will be next to the door where people can glare at me and shove me and punch me, that is if the teacher is not in yet but if I sit next to the window, I can bolt out of the door right after class ends without suffering any major harassment. 

After buried my head in my hoodie sleeve after taking my seat, hoping I could at least get a little sleep before class or the bullying starts. After some time, I hear multiple footsteps coming into the classroom, I don't look up, too afraid to do so but I do hear a few words that were directed towards me.

"Look, the sheriff's bitch is here in school."

"Can't believe he still dares to show his face around here!"

"Doesn't he have any shame?"

"I thought he would've moved to a different city by now, I mean a few days was enough time right?"

"Daddy's boy decided to also become the teacher's pet now I see, coming into class early."

I obviously ignored them, not that I had a choice but I could feel that feeling where you suppress the urge not to cry in my throat right now.

I heard a few students giggling and laughing, and as they entered the class it became obvious who they were - Scott, Allison, Isaac and Lydia, I've been friends with them long enough to know their voices. I didn't want to look up but there was this part of me that was curious. Are they looking at me? What were they talking about? Where will they sit? At that moment, coach decided to make his entrance into the classroom forcing me to look up as I had to. I saw that they were seated at the opposite end of the classroom next to each other as they sat in pairs. The class went by agonizingly slow and when the class ended I ran out of the classroom and towards the boys locker room since I had to get ready for the lacrosse auditions. But just when I was about to enter it, I overheard a few members saying that they wouldn't like to see me around and they were even quite a number of swear words when they were conversing. Though I was expecting it, it was worse than I expected since I'm hearing them say it in person. How could I have thought that as long as I did my part and keep to myself that I could stay on the team, that was a foolish thought. I decided not to audition since it's not mandatory even for returning team members but I had to collect all my equipment from my locker so I decided to wait until everyone was out from it and that included those that haven't arrive to change yet. I went to library during that time, it was like free period where all students that wanted to participate in extra co-curricular activities can go audition and join and those not interested can do anything but go against school rules. They were a few people that gave me looks and snide remarks but since there weren't many students and you are required to stay quite, I consider it the best place in school for a bullying-free zone.

While I was literally staring at the clock seeing the seconds go by, I received a text from Derek... again, but this time it wasn't the usual "Can we talk about what happened?" or "Feeling better?" but "Come by my loft after school, got some research I need you to do." I had to go, I was (or am) always the one doing the research, the only one, so if I don't do it it's going to cause problems and that is the one thing I no longer want to cause. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter really isn't good, I didn't have much inspiration lately for the build up towards the climax but I promise I'm going to get there soon! Please stay tuned! Comment freely, I would really like that :D


	10. Dangerous Path

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for so long! I was on vacation for quite some time, please forgive me. I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter as I'm speeding things up a little bit, comments are always welcome, I've been gone for so long I just wish people will like this chapter and tell me about it, enjoy! :)

Stiles' POV

The whole drive to Derek's loft I could only think about how our conversation is going to go. I mean if it's something that he needed me for research it means that there's probably a pack meeting. Is there a new threat in Beacon Hills? Do the rest of the pack know that? Am I the only one not told that because I no longer have friends? Even though all these thoughts are going through my head I had no thoughts to turn the car around to go back to my own home because I don't want them to think I'm pathetic, I don't want them thinking I don't dare to go to the pack meeting because I'm ashamed of what I've done though I've done nothing wrong.

To my surprise no one other than Derek was in the loft, he was sitting by the window with 2 coffee mugs set on the table, he must have smelled me coming from a mile away. But I didn't want to be sipping coffee by the window while sitting next to him, I just wanted to leave as soon as possible to avoid any awkwardness that may arise.

"What research do you want me to do?" I asked rather timidly.

"Nothing, I just wanted you to come here so we can talk since you ignored every message I've sent you so far, I almost thought you would ignore this one too."

"I should have considering the fact that I'm no longer the one researching anymore from now on."

"Why wouldn't you be the one researching anymore?"

I looked at him with an arched eyebrow and realization dawns on his face.

"Look I know what you're thinking but it's not like they are the ones that call the shots on who should be in the pack and who shouldn't be."

"what makes you think I even want to stay in the pack? Out of all of you, I'm always going to be the weak and vulnerable human who can't save himself and from now on, no one will save me when that problem arises."

"You may be human but you're not weak or vulnerable, have you forgotten the times you saved me?"

"If you're talking about the kanima incident that's only because I knew Scott would come running if anything happens, not because I wasn't weak. Look if you have nothing to really talk to me about I'm gonna go."

"Go where? Go home so you can cut yourself without anyone knowing?" Derek looked straight into my eyes and I could see a hint of anger there.

"I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Really Stiles, I could smell blood from the minute you were downstairs and you're really going to play dumb?"

"How'd you know?"

"I was pretty sure you didn't have a blood smelling cologne lying around your home. Why would you do that to yourself?"

"It's none of your business, you may be my alpha but you're not my dad so butt out of my life." I walked out of the apartment and made sure to slam the sliding door on the way out.

Derek didn't come looking for me and I have to admit I was kind of hurt but mu anger was definitely the dominant one out of the two. I was angry that he would question me, I was angry that he didn't come running after me but most of all I was angry at the fact that only Derek noticed I was different and cutting myself, I mean if he could figure it out so easily how come Scott didn't notice? He's a werewolf too and he's been my friend far longer than Derek has (that is if Derek even considers him anything more than pack), but why didn't he notice anything off with me? 

When I reached home, I called out to my dad but then I noticed he left me a note on the fridge saying he had an emergency at work and had to go to the station and wouldn't be back till tomorrow morning. I decided to skip dinner and just go straight to bed, not even bothering to shower myself. I tossed and turn in bed the entire night not being able to fall asleep though I was tired so I decided to just get out of bed and get to school early (that's when there's lesser people at school so less getting picked on by other students). But I noticed something off with me, eventhough I've taken my ADHD meds I can't seem to focus in class no matter how hard I try my mind just keeps wandering elsewhere, I wasn't tired though even from the lack of sleep from the night before. I just keep noticing what other students are doing like replacing the ink in their pens or Scott who kept playing with Allison's hair or Lydia who just kept jotting notes down on her notebook, basically paying attention to everything else but the lesson. I also keep fidgeting in my seat, I must've looked like a kid who really needed to use the bathroom in that moment. I decided to take a few more pills of my ADHD meds thinking that me not being able to focus in class was due to me not sleeping. However this habit of me increasing my medication intake did not subside, I was consuming about three times the amount of whatever my doctor was advising me telling myself that it was okay because I was able to focus more in class now than before convinced that the intake is normal for someone who barely sleeps now. I had to go to my doctor more often now to get my medications lying to him that I'm keeping them now because it'll be exam season soon and I wouldn't have the time to drive 2 hours to come and get it, thankfully he bought that lie.

Talking about habits that did not subside, the student's habit of bullying me did not subside either. When I was called by the coach to meet him since he wanted to talk to me about why I've decided not to play this year, my head was slammed into the locker by one of the bigger guys on the lacrosse team, I had a bruise nearly immediately after that. I was sent hate texts almost everyday. There is even a website dedicated to me where the students bashes me for what I did and it's basically just a forum that spreads malicious rumors about me. A girl decided to teach me a lesson for getting her boyfriend suspended by calling some of her guy friends to pull me into the pool and attempt to drown me just to scare me, I was scared alright I nearly ran out of air a few times, I wonder whether this was how Derek felt when he was underwater while the kanima was circling us around the pool. Someone was even childish enough to put their foot out as I was walking past so that I would trip, what was worse was that when I tripped my books went flying in front of me and the students in the hallway thought it would be a good idea to use them as a football and started kicking it around and when I went to pick all of them out, a girl decided to pour her bottle of orange juice on me. The pack was there, at the end of the hallway being spectators as if it was great to see their former friend being picked on and not deciding to help, the fact that they didn't laugh and even looked on with pity while the other students did, did not make things better in any way. I mean if they feel pity for me they should've just came to help me not just stand there doing nothing. I wanted to cry because I was so embarrassed about what was happening to me but I wasn't going to, at least not in front of my former friends. So I stood up putting on a poker face like I was fine with whatever that just happened to me though I was everything but fine, I turned around to face them and walked right past them. That hurt more than anything but I don't want them seeing me cry and thinking I want their pity or sympathy, after that I went straight to the car park to grab my car and leave, it wasn't end of school yet but I couldn't take it anymore and decided to just ditch Latin and Economics. I cried like a baby all the way home obviously not being able to hold it in me anymore.

Once I got home, I went up to my room and basically just lie there on my bed with my face in my pillow. I continued crying into my pillow and I let out a scream, something I've been holding in since getting drenched in orange juice, my pillow or my bed or my blanket can be dirty for all I care, I just wanted to let everything out! I want someone to know why I did what I did, I want someone to come up and ask me what happened at the party, I just want someone who cares for me enough to ask me something!

"What're you doing home from school so early? It doesn't end for at least 1 more hour." I looked up quickly, shocked, not knowing why the hell there was someone in my room when my dad was working.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"


	11. Deteriorates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is up! The big reveal will happen in the next 2 chapters so stay tuned! Please comment however you like :D

Derek's POV

"Look I just wanted to... apologize for that day." I was obviously struggling with my words, in my entire life I've rarely apologize for anything but it wasn't because of my ego but because I've lived alone for a long period of time and my way of conversing with other people still needed practice. "And also for now, since I technically climbed through your open window, that's considered a break in I guess."

"I don't need your apology, just get out of my house!" Stiles shouted at me, I was taken aback, not because he raised his voice at me because I've experienced that before, but at how he looked. His cheeks were sunken in, he had eye bags and dark eye circles around his eyes, his wrist looked like it would snap easily like twigs when being stepped on and in general, he just look fatigued (those type of look that makes you believe that person stayed up for a few nights to study for a test).

"What is up with you Stiles? You have no friends now, are you really going to push away the only person that is actually giving a shit about you?!" My eyes were glowing red because of the anger that is boiling inside of me. To my surprise, Stiles talked back, he has never done that in the past. In the past, one growl could cause him to swallow his saliva because he was so nervous.

"What I don't get is why, why YOU of all people are caring about ME?! You use to think I'm annoying and pathetic, always trying to get me out of your face! Now that I'm not bothering you, you come to me instead as if inviting me to be the prick back in your ass! You should be happy, hell ECSTATIC even now that I'm not in your life so my question to you is, WHY THE HELL DO YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME?!" He looked at me straight in the eyes. I couldn't answer that question, because I care? Is that the answer I want him to hear? That's the truth though, I came because I cared about him, no one was talking to him anymore and I overheard the rest of the pack talking about how Stiles was being bullied in school and how they rarely see him anywhere else in school other than when they have classes with him.

"Because... because you're pack." That's the best answer I could give him, it wasn't an entire lie though.

"You mean because I'm useful for the pack. There's a difference there, maybe you should try emphasizing the difference from now on." Stiles scoff.

"What happened to you? This is not you Stiles."

"What happened is, all of my "friends" decided I didn't exist in their lives anymore and those who have decided I exist treat me as a punching bag, end of story."

"Why didn't you tell your dad?"

"What? So he can transfer me to another school? In case you didn't get the memo, we aren't the richest family in Beacon Hills, we Stilinskis are on the brink of bankruptcy, you wouldn't understand though, your family left you a fortune that can last for generations to come."

"Are you trying to tell me you have been saving money by not eating? You look like a corpse that's just been put to the ground."

"No, I'm poor not dumb, I don't have much appetite that's all Doctor Hale, thank you for your diagnosis though, very helpful." Stiles said in a mocking tone, I told myself at least he didn't lose his sarcasm in the middle of all this.

"I'm guessing you've barely been sleeping too right? The things under your eyes tell me you've been having sleepless nights." Stiles looks at me his eyes saying "again thank you for your diagnosis", I took that as my cue to stop commenting on his physical appearance. "Why not I fix you something to eat?"

"Are you not going to leave like I asked you to?"

"I'll leave after you eat." I could see he wanted to argue but decided against it.

"If you can cook anything edible, I'll eat it, then you can leave me alone." I pulled his hand and led him to the kitchen and made him sit on the chair to watch me cook, I felt like my mother at that moment since that's how she used to make me eat my food. I decide to make pizza since that's one of the many foods Stiles love and the frozen pizza was already in the freezer of his kitchen. While I was making the pizza, I looked over at him a few times, he looked really tired like he was about to pass out any moment and he reminded me of a drug addict.

"The food is done. I can assure you that it is edible."

"It'll be an embarrassment if it isn't edible considering the fact all you needed to do was to put the frozen pizza into the oven." I chuckled, it wasn't intentional though, it was more of an impulse. Stiles didn't think too much of it and took a bite out of the pizza. After a few minutes of the room being filled with just chewing noises, Stiles starts to breathe really rapidly, the type of breathing you'll expect from someone who nearly drowned or have been underwater for a long period of time and then he looked nauseous and sprint his way to the toilet. I went after him and saw him hunched with both his hands on either side of the toilet bowl and started emptying the contents of his stomach, the scene that was playing in front of me reminded me of the day at the hospital. He finished vomiting and flushed the toilet while I went to grab a towel to soak it with water and went to put it on his forehead.

"Well this is really embarrassing, you always seeing me vomiting."

"Maybe you should see a doctor, you don't look so good."

"I'm fine, I assure you it's just me eating too much too quickly, not unusual you know."

"I'm not only talking about the vomiting, I've been keeping an eye on you, you barely eat, barely sleep, you always look like a walking corpse and even when you do sleep you wake up in the middle of the night due to a nightmare."

"What are you my stalker now? If you really care maybe you should walk through the front door to see what happens to me not lurk around in the shadows." I ignored him.

"So I have two conclusions, you either can't sleep or is too afraid too sleep because you do not want to be plagued with nightmare."

"Either way, I'm still fine alright, I still go to school and do my work."

"It's not healthy Stiles, I'm not a doctor but even a child could see your health is deteriorating and fast."

"Well I think you shoul-"

"I could give a rat's ass what you think Stiles, even if you don't care about yourself think about your dad, he lost his wife, do you want him to lose his son too?!" I grabbed my jacket and stormed out of the house slamming the door behind me and drove off back to my loft.


	12. Crumbling Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Please comment on whether you guys enjoyed reading it or not ;)

Stiles' POV

I understood what Derek said, I really did. Back when my mom have just passed away, it was hard for the both of us but especially for my dad since he did know her longer then I did. Even though I was young back then I could still comprehend whatever that was happening. I lost my mom and my dad lost his wife. I remember seeing my dad empty a few bottles of scotch in record time while he was planning for her funeral and in turn I cried myself to sleep every night, he didn't talk to me during the entire funeral but held me all the way through it. We both didn't cry during the funeral but did so only after everyone left. We stood in front of her grave for 15 minutes after everyone left doing nothing then we got into the car and cried. It was hard for both of us. We got looks of pity from everyone around us, my dad from his colleagues at the station and me at school from my schoolmates. I recovered rather quickly after it all thanks to Scott who always tried to cheer me up whenever I look like I'm on the verge of crying but my dad only recovered about a year after her death. He still keeps his wedding ring on, even now, but we no longer cry when we visit her grave like we used to initially, my dad however still drinks an entire bottle of alcohol after we are done visiting her grave, I don't say or do anything though, knowing he would be fine the next day. But I don't think he'll be able to take it if I was gone too like Derek said, even if he is, he'll never be the same.

I sat there in the dining room just staring into nothing but my mind just kept thinking about everything Derek said. There's just some things I don't understand. Why is he even caring? Just because I'm part of his pack? Or at least a former member of his pack. Just because he's my alpha and that's his responsibility? None of it adds up. On the other hand though, I guess having somebody caring about you it's better than nobody (excluding my dad of course) right?

My dad did notice there's something a little off with me. Like how when we were washing dishes the other day after dinner and a plate accidentally slipped his hand and it broke when it came in contact with the tiled floors and I flinched while my eyes were just looking everywhere in the room wildly, my dad looked at me weirdly but doesn't say anything probably (hopefully) thinking that I was just taken aback while my attention was fully on the plates. He would notice the bruises that form on my body from the physical bullying I get from the students but I would lie and say I slipped when I went to the bathroom, he didn't look like he completely bought that story but I could see he does buy it a little since I do have ADHD and my movements are a little jerky. He would question me about why I recently don't hang out with the rest of the pack and I would say I had class tests that I need to study and he made a joke about how I never study but would still ace a test and I laughed because ain't that the truth. I never actually properly study for a test before preferring to go hang out with Scott or help out with the supernatural issues but I didn't fully lie this time, since I started taking a higher dosage of my Adderall medication my concentration still wasn't as good as before so I still couldn't fully focus in class thus the studying at home, that and also because I have no one else to hang out with, well other than Derek I guess.

I heard my dad's car pull up in the driveway and that's only when I decide to get in the shower and wash myself, I didn't even realize until I touched my hair that my hair is hardened due to the orange juice that I was showered with in school by some girl who disliked me. I heard my dad call to me telling me that he was going to start cooking dinner first and I can help out after I'm out of the shower. I had to shower longer though, I shampooed my hair 5 times and used soap 3 times on my body, reminded me of the time I showered after Allison's party. I think I used nearly an entire bar of charcoal soap that time, leaving only about 1/8 behind. By the time I went to the dining room, my dad was already done cooking and only left with the serving up the food part. I ate really slowly this time though, poking around my food pretending I didn't really have an appetite but in reality I was starving. He asked me the usual things like school, homework, exams and... Scott. I answered everything truthfully other than the Scott part. Then my dad's phone rang, it was from the station. The phone call only lasted a few seconds with my dad saying he would be at the station right away before he hung up. I couldn't help my curiosity as my dad looked really uncomfortable after the phone call. 

"Did something really serious happen dad? An accident?" I was talking to him while he walked to the couch to put his jacket on, getting ready to head out.

"Not an accident this time, but a girl nearly got gang raped by a bunch of douche bags and it happened near Allison's apartment. I mean can you imagine what is going through the girl's mind right now? She'll be scarred for life. Well, see you tomorrow kiddo, remember to wash the dishes before going to bed. Love you." He said before closing the door behind him.

So many things went through my mind, was it the same group of guys? If the girl was NEARLY raped then that would mean that were caught in the act right? Are they going to confess everything? Everyone that they have or tried to hurt? What if my dad finds out one of them is me? How many people did they try to hurt after me? Did I cause all those people's assaults? Was I being selfish not saying anything out? It's already 3 months, they could have hurt quite a number by now. How would my dad look at me after this? Will he be disappointed that I didn't report it? I felt really bad for the girl, I caused her to be nearly raped, it was me not wanting people to know what happened that has set off this domino effect. I start to feel a panic attack bubbling inside of me. I need to tell someone, now before it's too late, Derek. I need to tell Derek. Now.

I was having trouble breathing while I was driving all the way to Derek's loft and I even took more of my Adderall after getting up the car, but I need someone to know, this whole thing that happened to me has already been eating me alive from the inside for far too long. Once I reached his building, I ran all the way up and didn't even bother knocking, I just slid the door open. Derek looked at me from where he was standing which was next to the window. 

"I thought you didn't want people caring Stiles, so why are you here?" He said in a really cold tone.

Since Derek have a habit of not turning on the lights in his loft for god knows what reason there was always this shadow at the door. I stepped forward a little where the light from outside the window shone, then the features on his face immediately softened. I looked like I was having an asthma attack, my chest was heaving up and down like I was chased a few streets by a police dog. Derek quickly ran to me.

"Stiles you're having a panic attack." He says it as if I didn't know that, if I wasn't having the attack I would roll my eyes at him and say thank you for pointing out the obvious, Captain Obvious. "You need to breathe Stiles come on. In out in out." He said it out loud so that my breathing could match it, but it wasn't working, no matter how much he tried my panic attack just seem to be escalating to newer heights. "Stiles! You need to follow my breathing!" He said while using both his hands to put on the back of my neck so that I would look at him, again it didn't work. After that, I just started breaking down, I was crying uncontrollably, only then I realized I actually wasn't having a panic attack but it was more like a build up to this moment, this bawling moment of mine. He looked at me confused or maybe scared or maybe both, I wouldn't blame him I mean I was supposedly just having a panic attack a second ago and now I'm a bawling mess.

"Stiles, I need you to calm down."

"No no no no, I can't I can't I can't I can't, I can't do this anymore! I can't I can't I can't! It hurts, It hurts, please just make it stop Derek, please." I was sitting on the floor after that, just crying really loudly. I was making these noises that people make when they are in a lot of pain.

Derek got down next to me and pulled me into his arms. 

"Hey hey hey, it's ok, it's ok, I'm here." We just sat on the floor like that for the next few minutes with his hands going up and down on my back. "I want to help you okay but you have to let me in, tell me what's going on Stiles."

"I can't." I look up at him, shaking my head violently while tears are still spilling from the side of my eyes. "You'll look at me differently, everyone will!"

"Then I won't tell anyone Stiles."

"I can't, I don't want you to look at me with pity or sympathy or disappointment, because if you do I have no one else to turn to and I won't be able to take that, I can't take that anymore."

"You don't know that because you're not me Stiles, how would you know how I'll react? You haven't even tell me what happened."

We didn't say anything to each other after that, we just sat there on the floor, both of us just looking straight into each other eyes. I was having breathing spasms due to me crying too much but I calmed down after a few minutes. He was right, I don't know how he'll react so why was I so quick to think he might just turn his back on me, he stayed throughout this entire fiasco maybe he will after I tell him. Moreover, I came here wanting to tell my story to somebody but now that I'm here, I'm chickening out?

I took a deep breathe and said the words I've been holding in for 3 months, "I was raped."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mental breakdown part is inspired by the one in The Vampire Diaries where Elena breaks down in Season 4 Episode 15, it was a really good scene and I thought it fits this story so I added it in. Hope you guys enjoyed it! ;)


	13. Past Uncovered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I went into detail what happened to Stiles the night of Allison's party.

Derek's POV

I stared at him, both of us not breaking eye contact, I was secretly hoping he would just suddenly burst out laughing and say this is all a joke but of course the situation is too serious for it to be a joke. No way someone who have a mental breakdown like this will suddenly announce it's all been a joke. I was just stunned, never would I have thought this was the secret that caused him his friends, I couldn't even feel angry because his answer caught me totally off guard. 

"When?" My lips were quivering because I really didn't want to know the answer to the question.

"Allison's party 3 months ago." He answered with a cold expression plastered on his face, he was not looking at me anymore rather he was looking at the floor.

"That's why you called the cops." Realization dawned on my face, I knew that Stiles wouldn't call the cops unless something REALLY terrible happened.

"Yeah, and you know whats worse?" He looks back up at me, tears again starting to pool in his eyes. "My best friend, my brother, decided not to even ask me what happened instead he just concluded that I wanted to trash his girlfriend's party which by the way I helped planned."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Honestly, the only reason I keep asking questions is because I have no idea what else to say, the shocking phase still hadn't passed for me.

"How could I tell anyone else if the person I trust the most in my life other than my father decided to shut me out? If you recall, before this happened you and I aren't even close to friends. I start getting nervous and scared 5 minutes before seeing you."

"Do you know who did it?" My anger was slowly taking over the shock I felt a minute ago.

"I think so. I think they are the same group of guys who tried to rape a girl tonight, they are detained in the sheriff's station now." I stiffened hearing the word "they". What the hell? As if it's not bad enough to rape someone now people go in groups? What is this? A group project now? I didn't even know how sick some people can be nowadays.

"They? How many were there?!" I unintentionally raised my voice, I realized my mistake when Stiles flinched at my raised voice.

"Fiv-five or six I-I think, I- I don't really remember. That night-"

"You don't have to tell me Stiles, I've not been through the same thing but I know it's not something you want to describe in detail. It's like when my family died and I was younger than you are now but I didn't want to tell anybody my story either." It's not that I didn't want to hear him out but I know what traumas can do to people, by describing them they would have to relive it and it's not something I want Stiles to go though.

"No I have to say it out, it's because I kept my mouth shut that has nearly caused this girl to be raped tonight and probably many others so please jus- just let me say it out loud because if I don't I'll hate myself more than I already do." His eyes were practically begging me.

"Ok, I'm listening just say what you have to say."

"That night, I called for help so many times when they started to approach me but no one came, then they came at me with these look in their eyes, that's when I knew I wa-" He had to take a few deep breaths between all his explaining. "I knew I was trapped and I" He was starting to break down again. "I tried Derek, I really really tried, I fought as hard as I could but there were too many of them who were holding me down until I didn't have the strength to fight back anymore. They were all a lot bigger than me and stronger than me so they force me down so hard while one of them were yanking my pants down and then-" His silent tears turned into a waterfall and he was rocking himself front and back on the floor while clutching his knees to his chest like his life depended on it. This was what I was afraid of, he was reliving the memory of that night. I moved to the side of him so that I could pull his head to rest on my shoulder. "They raped me." It hurt hearing him say those words. "They did it one by one like I was an amusement park attraction that needed a line so they would have to wait for their turn."

"I'm sorry Stiles, I'm sorry we couldn't save you that night, I'm so sorry."

"I hate them! I hate them tainting me! I hate them for doing this to me! I hate Scott for not standing by me! I hate Scott for not helping me! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!" He was screaming his heart out and I didn't even mind when he started to trash around in my arms because I probably would do the same thing. 

It took nearly an hour before Stiles was completely calm again, we were sitting on the sofa just looking around the loft. 

"Remember when you asked me about Kate?" I looked at Stiles, whose eyes were still puffy.

"Yeah." His voice was hoarse from all the crying.

"And you asked me about whether I was hurt by what she did and whether I forgave her?" He nodded at me.

"Back then, after what she did, I felt stupid." He looked at me not really knowing where I was taking this conversation. "For trusting someone so wholeheartedly. I really did love her or at least I thought I did and she betrayed that trust and love I had for her. I was mad, very mad, to the point that I couldn't feel the hurt that she has caused me." 

Stiles looked like he was processing the situation.

"And when Peter killed her, that was when I realized something. I found out that I've actually forgave her long ago, I mean in a way I did but not completely, because my family can longer be brought back to life anyways but I was afraid to admit that to myself, admit that I forgave the person that killed my entire family."

"Why?" He asked in a whisper kind of voice.

"I was scared of saying that out loud because if I do, it would seem like I was letting my family down so I guess that was why I couldn't come to terms with it."

"You've never let your family down you know, I would have reacted the same way, they would've understand what you went through."

"I hope so, I'm happy enough Cora doesn't blame me for not knowing she was alive all these time."

"Why are you telling me this anyway?" Stiles eyed me with suspicion.

"I don't know, I mean you told me what you went through I just thought I should too. That's what friends do right?" He looked away.

"I honestly don't remember what that feels like anymore, having friends."

"You're really brave you know that Stiles. Running away is easy, you just don't have to look back, but you chose to stay and fight. That's what makes you different and stronger than anyone else."

"If I'm really that, I wouldn't have waited this long to voice out what happened to me."

"You waited for 3 months, me? I waited years to say this to somebody and you're only human, you have breakdowns and you fall, no one is going to see that as weak."

"Maybe not you but they did. They picked me because I was weak and they used that against me."

"Those guys that did this to you, they're monsters, that's the scariest isn't it? That human are monsters sometimes. They did this like it's some kind of game. They don't have the ability to differentiate right from wrong, they're not in the right mind to think so they don't see you as weak, they see you as a chest piece in their sick little game." 

"You don't see me as weak then?"

"You're one of the strongest person I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stiles explaining what happened to him was inspired by General Hospital where Michael admits he was raped in prison. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and let me know what you think! ;)


	14. I Can't

Stiles' POV

After the conversation, we both just stayed silent sitting on the sofa. Derek went to make coffee for both of us and I drank it gratefully. I was grateful he didn't ask me anything more about whatever that happened at the party and also because he treated me like a friend but I can't help but wonder whether he told me about Kate because he just pitied me and wanted to release some of the tension in the room.

"Hey Derek?" I looked up hoping to meet eye contact with him.

"Yeah?" He kept his eyes on his coffee that he was holding.

"You're not going to tell anyone right?"

"No, it's not my place to do so." He finally looked at me. "But you are going to press charges to the guys that did this to you right?"

"No! I can't go through that, I can't let anyone else know about this, telling you was hard enough, telling another person will need me to relive that again and I can't do that again."

"You can't just let them off Stiles, they deserve punishment."

"They will get it because the girl nearly got rap-" I have to stop myself from saying that word because it still wasn't a word I was comfortable with. Thankfully Derek just continued on with whatever he wanted to say.

"They won't get the punishment they deserve if they base them on just this one crime they almost committed."

"So you basically want me to go to the station and announce to everyone there that I was sexually assaulted? That I was the one that called them that night of the party? That I called them because I was sexually assaulted but was too scared to say anything?" Tears have started to pool at my eyes out of anger more than anything.

"That's not why I want-" Derek try to tell me something but I needed to get everything out due to my anger.

"You basically want me to stand across from them while they stand in a line and I point out which one sexually assaulted me first all the way to the fifth and sixth?" My tears were now freely falling from my eyes and I'm not even trying to wipe them away from my face. 

"I know that it'll be hard and that wasn't what I meant. I mean I know that's what you'll need to do but I said it without thinking about what it'll do to you and I'm sorry but what I really meant was that you'll never be able to live like you used to if they are not going to be put behind bars because of what they did to you."

"I'll never be able to live like I used to no matter what happens to them. If they are put behind bars behind of me everyone in Beacon Hills is going to look at me like I'm a freak."

"Stiles, you did nothing wrong, you don't have to be embarrassed."

"Tell me that if you are look on by others like you're an animal in the zoo."

"I was looked on like that by others in this town when you thought I killed my sister and buried her next to my house." Derek chuckled after saying that though I'm pretty sure he did it at the memory of it and not because he was trying to make fun of me but I laughed too because I remembered how insane I was last time thinking he was a murderer. 

"Yeah I guess I didn't have the right to say that just now." I stopped crying after what Derek said. "Look, the main reason why I don't want people to know is not only because of what happened but also because if this thing get out in the open people will know abou-" I contemplate whether or not to tell him I like boys too but since he already knew my deepest secret, this is not a bigger deal than that right? "People will know about my sexuality too" I looked away from him not daring to meet eye contact worried what he might think about me now. 

"Stiles, you can be embarrassed about what might happened to you but you can never be embarrassed about who you are." That totally caught me off guard, Derek the mighty alpha, actually said wise words to me. I looked at him rather weirdly and he looked back at me with the same look as mine. After some time, I looked away from him.

"I tell you what happened to me at the party because I didn't want the same thing to happen to anyone again, so jus- just give me some time to think about it."

"Okay."

"Do you mind to drive me home? I don't want to drive home alone tonight. I'll come back to take my car tomorrow"

"Yeah, do you want to take away some food on the way home?"

"Sure."

After picking up pizza on the way back to my home and it started raining pretty heavily, I started experiencing some abdominal cramps and at first it was bearable and I thought it was just gastric but it started becoming more intense to the point I was sweating cold sweat.

"Derek?" I said with some difficulty due to my breathing.

"Hmm?" He said while keeping his eyes on the road.

"Ugh!" I grunted while clutching my stomach.

"Stiles?" He looked over at me and pulled over at the side of the road.

"Something's wrong."

"Just hold on, I'll get you to the hospital."

He drove quite crazily after that in the rain, not even stopping at the traffic light when it is red and nearly getting hit by a car coming from the left while I was moaning out in pain in the passenger seat next to him. I'm sure he'll get a ticket after this when the sheriff station see the street cameras. After reaching the hospital, he ran into the hospital to ask for help and after that all I could remember was being wheeled into the hospital and Derek being asked to wait outside of the emergency room. I was apparently moving too much so they had to inject muscle relaxants into me and I was knocked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> His dad will know what happened to him at the party in the next chapter! Tell me what you think of this chapter, I know it is rather dull but I've always wanted him to tell his father about it at the hospital so I had to have a storyline to go with it :) Hope you guys don't mind it!


	15. Dad Knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Some of you guys were asking me when I'll update and I said I promise it'll be within these 3 days but I figured I should just do it today since you guys wanted it so badly so I hope you guys will like it and as always tell me what you think! ;D

Derek's POV

I've never felt the way I did before when I saw Stiles in pain just now in the car, I've never panicked before like I did and when he got into the emergency room I just couldn't help but pace around outside of it. It's as if all the things that happened before to him wasn't bad enough, then suddenly something happens and it lands him in the hospital. When all these thoughts ran through my mind, the sheriff running up to me broke my thoughts. 

"Where's Stiles?" He said obviously having difficulty in breathing since he must have ran here when he got a call regarding his son.

"He's still in the emergency room, the doctors are still seeing what's wrong with him."

"What happened? Did you do something to him?!" I didn't blame him for raising his voice, I would probably react the same way if my only family member suddenly gets admitted into the hospital.

"No sir, I can assure you I didn't do anything to him. He was just in my loft becaus-" I wasn't very good at lying but I'm pretty sure Stiles didn't want me telling his dad about what happened either so I'll rather lie. "Because he wanted to grab pizza." I looked stupid, like why the heck would Stiles grab pizza with me? Obviously the sheriff found it weird too but he didn't say anything because the doctor and Melissa came out from the room just then, thank god.

"How's my son?" The sheriff said rather hurriedly.

"From what we can see, your son nearly died due to almost overdosing on Adderall."

"What?" The sheriff and me said in unison.

"Stiles have been abusing on his medication John." Melissa informed the sheriff.

"He was suffering from abdominal cramps when he was sent here, that was a symptom of him abusing his Adderall. At the same time, he was also having high fever but fortunately he was sent here at the right time, any later and he could have suffered a seizure too and it would've been too late by then."

"Thank you, can we see him now?"

"Yes, the drugs should be wearing off now so Melissa can take you to him." With that the doctor excused himself and we were led to Stiles' room that was when I realize how thin he looked under the hospital gown and blanket. He was still asleep due to the drugs so his dad took the seat next to his bed on the left and I sat on a sofa on the right side of his bed, we sat in silence for a few minutes before the sheriff broke the silence.

"Look Derek, I don't know how true your story is about grabbing pizza with my son but what I do know is that you saved his life and for that I have to say thank you, if you weren't with him I don't know what would've happened to him."

"You're welcome, sheriff" Then Stiles made a sound that signals he was waking up.

"Dad?" He looked at the sheriff sleepily.

"Hey." He said with the kind of smile you'll usually see on a proud father. "How're you feeling?"

"Fine, just have a little mild headache." Stiles said while sitting up. "Erm, dad?" He said with an uncertain tone.

"Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something."

"Okay, anything."

But Stiles didn't say anything yet so the sheriff looks over to me most probably wondering whether my presence in the room is the reason why Stiles is hesitating and that was my cue of saying something.

"I should leave, it's probably something you'll both want to discuss in private." I said that while beginning to head towards the door.

"No!" Stiles suddenly spoke up. "I need you here while I tell my dad." That sentence made the sheriff looked at me weirdly but I just walked back to where I was sitting.

"Dad, at the party." He hesitated before continuing. "I was the one that made the call but it wasn't because of the alcohol or drugs that were there that night but becaus- because something happened to me that night"

"What do you mean by something happened to you?"

"Some people that weren't guests at the party attacked me in the parking lot." Then the waterworks started up but all the tears were rolling down silently.

"Attack? Like you were beaten up? Were you really hurt? Did you need treatment? By who? How many people were there?" I was jealous of how the sheriff always worry about Stiles like that because if my dad was still with me, I would want him to treat me the way the sheriff was treating Stiles. 

"N- n- no dad, I wasn't beaten up." He took a deep breathe and continued on. "I was sexually assaulted that night."

The room was engulfed in silence then and nobody moved like time just froze then.

"By who?! Why didn't you tell me?!" Stiles was taken aback by his dad's sudden raised voice and starting sobbing loudly. 

"Hey hey hey hey I'm sorry ok? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted Stiles I'm sorry." The sheriff moved to hug his only son.

"I think there were 6 of them an- and I hate them dad! I f**king hate them!" Stiles starting shouting, I couldn't imagine the pain he was in, all of these were slowly killing him from the inside and no one noticed. The sheriff have also started to cry by then. They calmed down after a few minutes and they pulled apart though Stiles was still crying.

"Do you know who they are?"

"I think that if I saw them again I'll remember but I suspect that it might be the same group of people that tried to rape the girl tonight."

'Okay okay, we're going to get them okay? There's nothing to worry about." I suspect that the sheriff is saying that to make himself feel better. "And also we- we- we need to get you checked okay?"

"No dad I can't go through that and it's already been so long."

"Stiles please. Please. Please just do this for me, I need to know you're okay and this might be the only thing that's going to give me at least a little comfort so please Stiles." Stiles nodded, I would've too if I saw my dad begging me like that. After that, the sheriff went out to get a nurse other than Melissa of course since it would be uncomfortable for Stiles and he was wheeled into the examination room while we waited in his patient room. The sheriff wanted to accompany Stiles but the nurse informed him that it would probably be better for him to stay outside and wait.

"Did you know about this Derek?"

"Yes, he told me just now at my loft."

"I just don't understand how this could've happen to Stiles." I didn't have an answer to that so I stayed silent.

The door to the room open and Stiles walked in with a woman following him close behind and she introduced herself as a psychologist and was here to talk to Stiles about his assault. She wanted the sheriff and me to leave so they could have a little privacy but Stiles told her he would be more comfortable with us in here with him and she didn't seem to mind it. It was a rather quiet exchange between Stiles and her since he mostly didn't answer her questions but a question really got him to talk.

"How did you feel Mr Stilinski when you were raped?" Woah straightforward much lady?

"Like I was trapped or drowning. Its like the questions kept on repeating themselves in my head. Can anyone hear me calling? Is anyone coming to get me? Is like I was waiting for someone, anyone to come rescue me. When no one came to help, it felt like I was submerged in water, I was shouting but no one heard like no one would hear you if you are talking underwater. I was in pain and asking for help but nobody out there heard me. I needed someone but there wasn't anyone and they thought it was funny. They watched me scream and they laughed like I just did something hilarious, the way they looked at me, it was like I was a comedian." Stiles was sobbing while looking down at his hands.

"Thank you Mr Stilinski, I'll come again tomorrow, get some rest now, sheriff? Mind if I talk to you outside for a while?" Both of them left the room leaving me to look everywhere in the room but at Stiles.

"Thanks for everything Derek. You should go home you know, it's pretty late."

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked him but he didn't say anything so I assumed that was a no. "Then I won't leave." Perks of having someone you know working in the hospital is having them help you break the visiting hours rule. 

"You were right Derek. I shouldn't be ashamed about what happened to me, I did nothing wrong, they were the ones that did and I shouldn't be ashamed of who I am. So, thank you for knocking some sense into me."

"I think what I did was what people would call being a friend." I smiled at him and he smiled back, a genuine HAPPY smile, the one I haven't seen on him in a long while.


	16. Apology From A Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this update took so long! But I still hope you guys will enjoy this! The pack will know how much they screwed up next chapter! Tell me what you think! ;)

Stiles' POV

I stayed in the hospital for the next few days on doctor's orders since they wanted to make sure my condition is stable but I mostly just slept, I knew my dad and Derek have been visiting but most of the time Derek since my dad still had to go work. I would wake up from time to time and he would be sleeping on the couch or I would see a plate of homemade peanut butter cups on the table. I'm pretty sure it was Derek since my dad can't bake but then again I didn't even know Derek could. One time when I woke up from my sleep, a nurse was in my room checking up on me and she said how jealous she was of me. I was confused at first, I mean who would be jealous of someone like me, someone so damaged? She saw the confusion written on my face and said that she was jealous of how lucky I am to have a boyfriend like Derek, someone who barely went out of my hospital room and even if he does leave, would return within 3 hours. I blush when she told me that but I didn't try to tell her that Derek wasn't my boyfriend because geez dude, who wouldn't want a boyfriend like Derek.

"Hey kiddo." My dad greeted me opening the door to my room.

I smiled up at him without saying anything.

"So listen Stiles, the doctor said you're allowed to be discharged today." I could see there was a continuous story to that.

"And?" 

"You'll need to come down to the station to identify the people who did this whole thing to you."

"Ok." I answered nonchalantly, truthfully I just want this whole thing to pass. 

"You sure you'll be ok Stiles? I can try to make them push it back for 2 more days if you want."

"No dad I really don't want to wait any longer, 2 more days means 2 more days of anxiety and I rather get this thing done the sooner the better."

"Ok, just tell me if you feel uncomfortable alright? I'll go to the reception to get all your discharge paper done." My dad was halfway to the door when he turned back to me. "By the way, there's someone out here that's a bit shy to come into your room." With that he walked out the door towards the reception. I waited for that person to show some sort of indication that he or she is here but there was none and I grew impatient.

"You know I can't see through walls right?" I raised my voice a little but not in an anger tone. "Do you want to come in whoever you may be?" I was partly expecting Scott but when that person emerged it was someone I completely didn't expect standing at the door holding a box of cupcakes from the shop near our school, it was Isaac.

"Isaac?" I asked completely caught off guard at his presence and it was evident in my voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I found out you landed in the hospital so I decided to pay a visit."

"Why would you do that? The last time I checked we weren't really even in a friendship zone."

"Look, I want to apologize for that, all of us really shouldn't just jumped to conclusions, I mean even though I knew you the shortest in comparison to others I know you aren't an irrational person. You are the smartest among us, you always weigh the good and the bad before doing anything, why would that day be any different. I was just too mad that day to be rational, furious to be honest but once I really cooled down and think, I knew I was in the wrong. We all really should've listen to you first before drawing any sort of conclusion and I'm really really sorry Stiles."

Shocked, when did this aggressive little werewolf become so submissive?

"Wow, I didn't expect that." The room was engulfed in silence for the next few minutes. "How did you find out I was in the hospital anyway?"

"I saw you weren't in school for 2 days so I went over to your house and I saw your father coming out with an overnight bag so I just thought it would be for you and I followed his car which led me to the hospital and I saw you here, like this. That was 2 days ago so I thought I should at least bring you something before visiting you. I figured you probably eat a lot of peanut butter cups since there were in the vending machines so I bought you peanut butter cupcakes instead." He moved so now he's sitting on the edge of my hospital bed. 

"Thank you, that's really nice and thoughtful of you Isaac but you don't really know why I'm in here in the hospital right?"

"No I was going to ask that but I was afraid it might come out as intrusive."

"I'm here because I nearly overdosed on my medication." I looked at him straight in the eye.

"Because if us?" Isaac asked guiltily.

"Not entirely." I chuckled. "About 20%?" I laughed and Isaac did too but mostly out of nervousness.

"At the party, there was a reason why I called the cops, it wasn't because of the booze and everything but because something happened to me." Isaac looked at waiting for me to continue.

"I was gang raped." I said very seriously but didn't break down or anything, these few days sleeping alone in the hospital got me a lot of thinking time and I figured I could and am a victim but at the same time I could be a survivor too. I shouldn't be ashamed of what happened to me because those guys who did it to me should and I am the one coming out stronger and they'll be thrown in a jail cell, so I came out of the ordeal the winner. I wasn't scared to tell Isaac either, everyone knows admitting you're wrong is tough but he was able to put down his ego to apologize to me and I'm genuinely happy.

"What?" If I'm not wrong, he's probably secretly hoping I'll burst out laughing and hitting his arm saying I'm joking but that moment doesn't come and I could see his mind was slowly processing what I just said up in his mind.

"So, does the rest know you're here?" I wanted to divert his attention and honestly I really didn't care anymore about the others.

"No, I got into an argument with Scott so we're not on talking terms currently and of course Allison is his girlfriend and Lydia is his girlfriend's best friend so they don't talk to me too."

"Doesn't feel that good does it when you're on the receiving end of it?" I couldn't help but playfully take a jab at him.

"No it does not."

"What did you guys argue about?" I asked while taking the cupcakes from Isaac and starting to eat them.

"You. After I saw you in the hospital, I had a talk with Scott the next day and I asked whether he visited you in the hospital since I guessed he already knew from Melissa and he said no and after a few minutes of heated exchange between us we got into a fight and had to be pulled away by a few of the lacrosse team members."

"So I should be honored you got that black eye while standing up for me?" It's weird having Isaac standing up for me but I don't dislike it.

"Yeah, you should, and you should do that by giving me one of the cupcakes."

"Help yourself, you paid for them anyways. I gotta go take a shower and change before going down to the station."

"Mind if I tag along?"

"If you don't mind sitting in the sheriff's station with nothing to do." I replied from the bathroom.

"I don't mind, I've got nowhere to go anyway."

Isaac's POV

Stiles' phone rang when he was taking a shower so I just answered it for him.

"Hello"

"Isaac?" That was definitely Derek's voice but just to ensure I wasn't hallucinating I looked at the caller ID and immediately regretted picking up the phone.

"Yeah, it's me."

"What are you doing with Stiles' phone?"

"He's in the bathroom and I was visiting."

"I'm coming over." With that, he hung up his phone, never with goodbyes, geez!

My mind was still processing whatever information Stiles just fed me with, it's a hard process. I blame myself mostly, I should've come to my senses earlier then maybe he wouldn't have landed in the hospital, all he needed was a friend and we all pushed him away. What was I thinking all these time?!

"Is Stiles bathing?" The sheriff came in and asked.

"Yeah."

"Well tell him I'm going down to the station first to get ready everything and Derek will take him there."

"Sure." Wait, so all these time, Derek knew? Well duh! Why else will Derek be taking him to the station. Now this is another information that's going to take some time to process.

"Stiles still in the bathroom?" Derek's voice startled me out of my thoughts. He came in with Cora.

"Yeah and Cora?"

"Yeap, I'm back permanently to live with Derek and starting school in Beacon Hills High School next week. Derek took care of all my application and stuff so get ready to get bullied when we get to school."

I don't like the sound of that, Cora and Derek have the exact same personalities, they would not hesitate to hurt people and that thought scares me and Derek was about to ask me a question when Stiles come out from the bathroom. Thank you Stiles! I do not want to face the wrath of the alpha just yet.

"Hey guys." Stiles greeted them cheerily. 


	17. Replay

Stiles' POV

The ride to the sheriff station was a particularly awkward one, I don't even need werewolf senses to feel the tense aura surrounding the car. Derek definitely have a bunch of questions for Isaac and Isaac is definitely not ready to answer any of them which is pretty ironic, I mean it's not like it's anything big, all Isaac needed to do was to tell Derek everything he told me plus Isaac has to answer sooner or later considering Derek is his alpha. So the entire ride to the sheriff station was just filled with Cora's never ending questions and worries she have for me.

"Are you sure you want to do this today? I'm sure your dad can push it back several more days later."

"Maybe you should've stayed in the hospital for a few more days just to be sure you're completely fine."

"I'm not sure you can handle seeing their faces just yet Stiles."

"Seeing them is going to traumatize you more than you already are."

Though I keep assuring her I'm fine she just kept blabbering on like she didn't hear me and that's when Derek stepped in.

"Cora. You are the one that's traumatizing Stiles now with all your questions, he made the decision to go to the sheriff's station today after much thought so I'm sure he feels ready enough to do this so you seriously have to take a step back and chill."

After that, Cora stopped talking, I'm thankful to both of them, honestly. I haven't seen Cora in so long and yet she worries about me more than any one of my "friends" do, excluding Isaac now. Plus, what she said is indeed true, I am scared to see their faces again, I'm going to the sheriff station not because I'm finally brave enough to face what happened to me but because I just want to get this whole thing over with and just put this entire ordeal behind me once and for all. When we arrived at the station I could tell my father was looking outside the window the entire time to see when I'll reach because once I got there he was already waiting by the entrance, worry evidently on his face. 

"Stiles, you sure you want to do this?" He asked me for the millionth time that day.

"Yes dad, asking me so many times in a day is not going to change my mind about this." He was quiet, obviously not convinced I can do this. "Dad, I need to do this, I've kept quiet for way too long and because I chose to do that who knows how many more people have been hurt in the process because of me? I can't let this ordeal control my life."

"Okay, I believe you son." He guided me to his office while the rest had to wait outside, I sat at his table with a file on the table right in front of me, another officer was also present. The officer then told me that the pictures of the suspects are all in the file and all I had to do was to point out whoever who have 'hurt' me before, I'm guessing she wasn't comfortable with using the word 'rape'. 

I opened the file and there was about 10 picture in there, it wasn't hard picking the people who did this nightmare to me, this wasn't the part I was afraid of anyway it was the next part that terrifies me, I have to identify the people by seeing them in person. After I picked out the pictures my dad took them and led me to the jail cells in the station. When I reached the door to the jail cells I had to stop in my tracks, I had to keep on telling myself I can do this over and over in my head and my dad just stood there waiting for me patiently, after I took a deep breath I finally opened the door to face the people who ruined my life. I couldn't stop my tears from flowing then, this was a lot harder than I imagined. I only managed to choke out a few words.

"Yeah, they're the ones that did it to me."

My dad then led me out making sure I was okay, we went to where the rest were waiting and that's when I asked the question I was dying to ask.

"Can I see the surveillance tape?" My dad looked at me shocked. "I overheard you talk on your phone about it when I was in the hospital, you thought I was asleep."

"Stiles, don't. I myself haven't seen it because I couldn't bring myself to see my son getting hurt, you're not going to like what you see."

"I get that dad, I do. But I need to watch it, I need to see it myself, whatever they've done to me, it's already done, I'm already damaged dad, there's literally nothing else that can damage me further than they already have. You have to realize that there's nothing else they can take away from me." I told my dad with pleading eyes.

He quietly went to take the thumb drive and a laptop into his office.

"You sure about this Stiles?" Derek asked me.

"Yeah, in the hospital I gave this the most thought, watching the tape is what I need to do." He didn't say anything after that so I just went into my dad's office.

My dad set the laptop in front of me and sat beside me, it reminded me of the first time my dad taught me how to use a computer, and then he reluctantly press play. The video was cut to where I started walking to my car, after taking my power bank and walking back into the apartment building the six guys then just came into the frame and started attacking me. I couldn't watch this part, I thought I could but I really can't so I just looked down at the keyboard while crying, all I hear was screams, my screams, I was also begging them to stop. The feeling like I was drowning came back, I was screaming so loudly but no one heard me, no one came for me, no one helped me, and when the screaming stopped, I finally looked back up onto the laptop screen, the guys were fastening the belt on their jeans and was laughing at me and having a conversation among themselves.

"That was fun wasn't it?" One of them laughed.

"He must've liked it or else he wouldn't have screamed like a bitch." Another one chimed in.

That's when I couldn't take it anymore and ran out of my dad's office and out of the station. Seeing it in the third person's perspective was a lot harder than I imagined, I fell onto the ground of the parking lot, crying. Derek came after me and stood next to me while I cry but don't say anything until I finally calmed down.

"Let's get you home Stiles, you need to rest." He held out his hand and I gladly took them as he led me to his car and drove me home.

"Stay." Derek nodded.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in the living room watching movies, neither of us talking. I wasn't focusing on the movies at all, my mind just kept replaying the surveillance tape. My dad sent me a text late afternoon that said he was proud of me, I felt slightly better after that because I felt like I've finally did something where my dad is proud of me. I eventually fell asleep and apparently done so on Derek's shoulder because that was the position I was in when I woke up from the door bell ringing. Derek went to open the door and the pack was standing at the doorway excluding Isaac. I looked at them not knowing how to react yet.

"Stiles?" Scott spoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is boring and slow but I needed a continuation for the rest of my story, so sorry about that. But still please do tell me what you think! I would really appreciate it! :D


	18. Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, I was inspired so this chapter was written pretty quickly so I hope everyone like it ;) Comment and tell me what you think! :D

Stiles' POV

"Stiles?" Scott said, the way he said it sounded like a question but there wasn't suppose to have an answer to it. I was stunned for a moment, I didn't expect them to find out about it so soon and I wasn't ready for this, not yet. I stood up from the couch and turned to face them, they all had this guilty look on them and I couldn't bring myself to sympathize.

"What are you guys doing here?" I said it with a I-don't-care tone.

"Can we talk to you?" He turned to Derek before continuing. "In private?"

I looked at Derek, not really sure of what to do, but he gave me a reassuring nod and that's all I needed.

"Only you, upstairs." Scott then followed behind me to my bedroom. Once we entered my room, I took a seat on my bed while he sat on my study table's chair, both of us facing each other. I didn't say anything, I was just waiting for Scott to open his mouth.

"Why didn't you tell us?" He finally spoke after a few minutes of silence.

I looked at him with pure anger in my eyes, I wasn't even hurt by his words, just angry. "You don't get to do that Scott, not after all these time."

"Do what?" He looked at me confused.

"Push it on me! Push the blame on me like it was my fault we aren't friends anymore, not pack anymore! You don't get to do that when the blame is on you not me, you don't get to play victim here, I'm not even playing that role so screw you for thinking you're allowed to do that before me." Tears have started to pool at my eyes out of anger. "You know what? After so many years of being friends I thought of you as a brother and I use to say I would that a bullet for you because you really were like a brother to me but when I said that I didn't intend for you to be the one that's pulling the trigger. I guess I finally understand the saying that all monsters are human, because you're one of them."

"Stiles, I know you're hurt but I'm not the one that did this to you, I'm not the enemy here, I'm not the monster."

"You're right, you didn't do this to me but when I needed my brother, he pretended he didn't know of my existence and that was more hurtful than anything else so to me, you're categorized as a monster."

"I didn't mean for it to go that far." Scott started crying silent tears.

"But it did, and you did nothing to stop it. All those time when I saw you in the corner of my eye when people ganged up on me in school and started bullying me and you did nothing, I realized I don't actually know you, it felt like all those years of friendship was a lie. That's when I decided to tell myself that I should stop trying so hard for people who don't give a shit about me."

"I'm so sorry Stiles."

"That was at the lowest point in my life, even lower than when my mother passed away, I desperately just wanted to disappear maybe get into a car accident or just go away to a different state but I realized I really just wanted to be found. All I wanted at that point was someone to just be there, that someone don't have to say anything, all that someone needed to do was to be there for me and that was Derek. It was also at that point that I realized that not everyone can stay in my life, some of them only deserved a piece of them in my heart, a memory. Plus, I deserve friends who actually gives a fuck about me because I've spent my entire life making other people happy when all they did was leave me." I was pretty sure everyone downstairs (those who are human) could hear me since I did raise my voice a little. "You know what's the best part out of this nightmare? It's that I actually found somebody that gave a shit about me and my well-being. Someone that cares if I'm okay and healthy and believe me he is so much better at being a friend that you ever were these past few months and the most important point is that he didn't judge me before listening to my story, something you weren't able to do."

"Do you think you can ever forgive me?"

"Maybe one day Scott, but I can tell you for a fact that forgiving you will be easy but whether I will ever place my trust in you again it's a totally different story because I'm not willing to get close enough to you again to have you hurt me again. That's a promise I made to myself in the hospital, I've learned to be selfish this past few days and I'm going to put myself first before thinking about anyone else. I deserve that much." After my speech only did I realize my tears never made it down my face. "You should leave." Scott stood up reluctantly and was walking towards my hallway when he stopped and turned to me, he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but nothing came up so he just continued walking towards the stairs. I didn't move from where I was seated but I heard a lot of footsteps downstairs and then the door to my house was opened then closed, I lied down on my bed using my arm to cover my eyes. I heard Derek's footsteps approaching my room then he sat on the chair Scott sat on just a couple of muntes ago.

"That was good." Derek said.

"What was?"

"Your entire conversation with Scott."

"I'm not wrong was I?" I finally removed my arm that was on my eyes and looked at him. "I mean I don't usually say things like that because that's not me."

"You're not wrong Stiles, you're just protecting yourself and who cares if that didn't sound like you? Who you are and who you need to be in order to survive are two very different things, it doesn't mean you have lost yourself, it just means you've matured." 

What did I do in my past life to deserve to see this side of Derek? I must've saved an entire country for this to happen to me in this life. 

"I'm hungry, mind ordering delivery?" I asked him out of the blue.

"Of course." He smiled at me then went downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired by quotes I saw on weheartit, so a lot of what Stiles say is actually from there ;) love that website!


	19. For Myself

Derek's POV

We ordered delivery and sat across from each other in the dining room, eating in silence. I couldn't help but look at Stiles while he kept taking bites out of his burger and kept on stuffing curly fries into his mouth nonstop thinking god was he beautiful. He's not the type of guys you'll see in a Abercrombie & Fitch poster or those pretty boys who are models for perfumes. He is beautiful because of how he thought and stood up for himself. He is beautiful for his determined tone in his voice when he told Scott off for what he did to him for the past few months. He is beautiful for always being so selfless, thinking about others before himself. He isn't beautiful for something as temporary as his looks, he is beautiful deep down to his soul. I didn't even notice I was dreaming until Stiles spoke.

"Dude, you staring at me is freaking me out."

"Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking of some things." I coughed to get rid of the weirdness surrounding us. "So how mad are you at Scott?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, I'm not mad, not anymore at least. I just have to learn to expect the lowest from people, even the ones I thought the highest of, you know?"

"Yeah, I do, I learned that through my uncle and I thought the highest of him back then since he was the only family I thought I had left."

"Oh my god! Speaking of your family, we forgot about Cora and Isaac at the sheriff station."

I laughed. "Don't worry about them, they'll find their way back to the loft, that is if they didn't kill each other yet on the way home."

"I won't be surprised if they end up together. You know what people say, those who argue usually ends up together." 

"God I hope not, if they do, they better move out of the loft." We laughed together. It was the first time since the ordeal that I saw him laughed like he used to.

"Well, since you heard everything I said to Scott, I just wanted to tell you thank you for everything. I mean, you weren't the best at comforting but your presence was all I needed."

"You're welcome." 

"So, erm." He cleared his throat. "Even after today at the station with all the identifying and everything, I would still have to go to court."

"Why?"

"There's three minors involve including myself so apparently the lawyers will have to see how that goes or something, I don't really know how it works."

"When are you scheduled to go?"

"Saturday morning." He looked at me nodding his head. "I'm going back to school on Monday."

"You'll be okay right?"

"Yeah yeah yeah. I mean, you know, Cora's back and she's starting school on Monday too so that helps and Isaac is talking to me again so I guess you can say things are looking up for me again, in a weird kind of way." He chuckled. "Can you come with me?"

I looked at him, not really sure what he's referring to.

"Court. I'll really appreciate it if you can come, for moral support."

"Oh! Yeah of course, you don't even have to ask." I smiled at him and he let out a sigh of relieve, he probably thought I didn't want to be there.

Saturday eventually rolled around and I woke up early together with Cora and Isaac to get ready. It's weird, this combo I mean, I always thought if Cora is with me it would be together with Scott not Isaac. We drove straight to court since we didn't need to pick Stiles up, once we parked and walked in we were able to spot the sheriff and Stiles right away because we were the only ones there. The sheriff wore a suit and tie and Stiles was just wearing an oversize hoodie and skinny jeans with a pair of sports shoe. 

"Hey, you ready?" Cora asked Stiles, he just nodded without opening his mouth. He's definitely nervous I can tell, there's only two things he do when he's nervous, he either blabbers non-stop or don't talk at all. 

"You'll do fine Stiles, it's just court, all you have to do is talk, that's what you're good at." I rolled my eyes at Isaac's lame attempt of a joke. 

"Thank you?" Stiles answered with a small smile and a voice laced with uncertainty of whether that's a compliment or not.

When it was time we all walked into the courtroom and before he went to take a seat at the "parties" seat, I took his hand in mine and gave it a firm squeeze, he looked at me, gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed back.

"Thanks, I needed that." We let go and he went to take his seat. 

All in all, I didn't really hear whatever the judge or lawyers were saying until Stiles was called to go to the "box" thing to get questioned by the lawyers. Though I didn't really pay attention I do know that basically what the other party wants is a lighter sentence on the two minors involve as they were drunk and high on drugs and didn't mean to "hurt" Stiles. He didn't get questioned right away as the lawyer from the other party was talking about things I didn't have the heart to hear, instead I kept my eyes fixated on Stiles. 

"How old are you Mr Stilinski?" The lawyer from the other party ask.

"17."

"And, do you know how old my two clients are?"

"17 too, same age as me."

"How would you describe what happened that night? Would you say that my two clients were totally out of it? Like they didn't seem like themselves?"

The lawyer was basically trying to make Stiles sympathize with the two minors involved in his assault by asking him questions that he hope Stiles would say yes to. Stiles looked at me then took a deep breath before answering.

"I know what you want me to say. You want me to say "yes, they look totally out of it, yes,they look like they were crazy" but in case you haven't read my file or seen the surveillance tape, I was the one that was out of it. I was the one that was busy pushing them off of me while they were assaulting me. You want me to say that so that they would still have a bright future in front of them as they would only be on probation and you'll feel really good about it because you'll feel like you've saved some parents from some form of heartache. I'm not even going to lie that I want them behind bars more than anything because of everything they've caused me. The truth is everyone has a choice. EVERYONE. Do I feel sympathetic towards them for going to jail so young due to a mistake they made by mixing with the wrong group of friends? Yes I do. But they had a choice, they could've not give in to peer pressure, they could've not taken the drugs but they did. It's not up to me to feel like I should give them a free pass just because of one mistake that THEY made. THEY made the choice of taking the drugs and following their friends' example of assaulting me but I'M the one that's been paying for it and now it's their turn to pay." Stiles then look towards the two minors. "You both know what you did to me and I know what you both did to me so I'm not going to let you go just because I feel bad for your parents. You both raped me and I don't care if it's under the influence of alcohol and drugs but an apology isn't going to change history and I think it's about time I get justice for myself." He said that last sentence while looking at me.

I was showing him a proud smile, the kind where parents would give their kids when they won a soccer game.

"Would you say that maybe there was something you did or the way you dress that could've made my clients assault you?" Now the lawyer it's just trying to pin this on Stiles like it's his fault, I really don't get how some lawyers study justice but just get blinded by winning and money. 

"I know you're trying to pin this on me but trust me, you can't play reverse psychology on me. Honestly, these past few months there were times where I thought it was my fault, but it wasn't. It wasn't my choice and it definitely wasn't my fault." He then looked towards the minors' parents. "I know you'll probably hate me no matter what sentence the judge decides for them and I know your hearts will hurt but I'm someone else's child too. My dad's heart will hurt if I decide to let them off the hook and I can honestly tell you my dad will also be disappointed in me if I didn't stand up for myself. Plus, I actually did thought about letting them off the hook by not reporting my assault at all but a friend told me that asking for help is a sign of bravery not weakness and I couldn't live with myself knowing they've hurt other people too."

Stiles didn't let out a single tear during the entire hearing and I know that's because he has truly accepted the fact that he did nothing wrong. The judge eventually sentence the two minors to 3 years behind bars for rape, underage drinking and possession and usage of drugs, the parents cried obviously having their sons taken away from them. The sheriff looked a lot more relieved and went to pull Stiles into a bone crushing hug once the hearing was over. We were all relieved and smiled as the sheriff and Stiles came outside the room to join us. The sheriff was so happy and relieved about the outcome that he decided to treat us all to a buffet at the mall, once we were done with the meal the sheriff went with Cora and Isaac to get ice-cream which both Stiles and I didn't want so we just walked around the mall while they went to some "amazing" ice-cream shop (according to Isaac) outside of town until we were too tired and went to the parking lot so we could get home, but before we got in the car Stiles talked.

"I want to say thank you Derek."

"For what?"

"For believing in me that I could do this when I didn't believe in myself."

"Anytime."

"You know, I don't really know what I actually hoped the outcome would be like but seeing my dad happy I guess I've already gotten justice and I know what I deserve now. So..."

"Do you? Because you do, you deserve to be happy." I started walking closer towards him. "You are amazing, kind, smart and beautiful. You deserve every inch of happiness you can get. You deserve to have everything you want. Don't you think?"

"What if what I want I can't get?"

"What makes you so sure?" I pulled him close and placed a short kiss on his forehead then I just stood there, my cheek against the side of his head and his chin against my shoulder with both my arms around his shoulder. He then slowly put his hands around my back and I could feel a smile slowly forming on his face.

"Can we just stand here like this for a few more minutes?"

"I'd like that." I answered with a smile I had on my own face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of them are inspired from "The Fosters" Season 1 Episode 7 and 10. Hope you guys enjoyed it, tell me what you think! :D


	20. Not A Tattler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, not much inspirations these days. Hope you guys like it and don't be afraid to leave a comment or two, I'll really appreciate it! :D

Stiles' POV

On Monday, I woke up an hour before my alarm clock even started ringing because I was so nervous but I waited till the very last minute before I dragged myself out of bed to get ready. I eventually got to school exactly 15 minutes before school started thanks to the road having no traffic at all. Once I pushed open the entrance to the school literally everyone in the entire hallway became quiet and stopped whatever they were doing and all eyes were on me. The last time this happened was because I "tattled" on them and that was months ago, what did I do this time? I don't try to figure out why but unlike last time where people was spitting insults my way as I walk past them, this time they're just staring at me with their mouth shut. I went straight to my locker while avoiding any form of eye contact and while I was getting books out for my first period Isaac and Cora came over to me with worry plastered on their faces.

"Hey." I greeted both of them. They didn't say anything back and instead just kept looking at each other like they want to say something but is afraid to. "Just say whatever you guys wanna say." I looked at them while closing my locker.

Cora swallowed hard before opening her mouth. "The surveillance tape video is online."

"What?"

"Someone must have decided to go looking for the footage after the reading the newspaper and decided to share it online."

"Now it made sense why people were staring." I said after a few seconds of silence.

"The news didn't even mention your name or had a picture of you because you're a minor but it did say where the assault took place so I guess someone really wanted to know who." Isaac added. "I'm so sorry Stiles."

"Why? Why are you saying sorry to me? You didn't do anything wrong, in these past few months you are one of the very few who actually did something right so don't apologize. I just don't understand why people can be such jerks sometimes, is it not bad enough? Did he, she, they or whoever who did it have so much pleasure out of watching it they had to share it?" I took a few deep breaths before apologizing. "Look, I'm sorry okay? I'm just so mad, I don't mean to dump it on you guys."

"No, it's fine, just dump it anywhere you like, we can take anything." Isaac said while lightly punching my arm.

"Thanks, we should get to our own class."

"Well." Cora chimes in. "I have the same exact schedule as you guys so we can just go together."

"How is that possible that you have the same exact classes as Stiles and I? Out of the pack we both are the only odd ones for having all classes taught by the same teacher and that was only because I changed 2 of my subjects."

"I saw your timetable lying around in the loft so I just made a copy of it." She said with a smirk which looks exactly like Derek's, and passed him back his timetable. "Thank you by the way." She started walking to class.

"That's stealing! I could report you!" He started walking after her and I followed behind. 

Not everyone was in class yet, and by everyone that included Scott, Allison and Lydia. We 3 took the seats that were empty by the window, Isaac and Cora were nice enough to make sure that one sat beside me and the other behind me so that Scott will be further away from me which wouldn't be a problem since the seat behind Isaac was taken anyways. Despite me seating in the first row, I can still feel people's eyes on me like I have a weird growth on the back of my head. The pack eventually made their grand entrance as the last 3 who made it to class, they sat by the door and Scott was trying to get my attention but I ignored him, he wanted to walk over to my table but Allison stopped him probably sensing I don't want to talk to any of them. While waiting for the teacher to walk in, some of the students were watching the video online with the volume that was loud enough for me to hear, though I doubt they did it on purpose. I was trying to tune it out as much as possible but it's not like I can get that distracted, Isaac was so angry that he walked over, took the phone away from the group and practically smashed it to pieces, he even accumulated all the broken pieces after that and gave it to the student saying that at least he now have an excuse to buy a new phone then smiled at him before going back to his seat like nothing happened. The students didn't say anything, Isaac have a "not to mess with" kind of reputation in school. I mumbled a thank you which I'm sure he would've heard with his hearing and everything.

I couldn't concentrate throughout the entire economics class no matter how hard I try, it's no longer my ADHD problem, it's the fact that everyone in school now knows why I called the cops that night and even have a video for proof. Honestly, even though now everyone knows I didn't ruin that night on purpose, I hate it. I hate that they know why, I hate that they only knew it was me after watching the video instead of reading it from the newspaper and I hate that everyone saw how I was sexually assaulted that night. 

After the class ended, while I was packing up my books, coach asked me to stay behind. Isaac and Cora said they would save me a seat in English while they walked past me towards the door. 

"So how are you Stiles?" Coach asked me in a tone that I've never thought I would hear from him, he mostly just talks to people in an annoyed voice. 

"Erm, as good as I can be I guess." I forced a smile. 

"I just wanted to let you know that the school is trying their hardest to take down the video."

"What's the point?" Coach looked at me with a surprised expression. "I mean, it's the 21st century and the video is online, even if the school takes it down it would've already spread, there's only so much they can do before they realize not everything can be fixed." 

"Are you talking about the video or yourself?" He looks at me with an arched eyebrow.

"Both." I answered after thinking hard about it.

"You know there's this saying that god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soilders. You are strong enough to get past this Stiles."

"Yeah but I think this soilder is slowly losing the battle." I stood up and walked to the door. "I should get to class." Coach just gave me an encouraging smile and waved me off. 

When it was time for lunch, I told Isaac and Cora to go on without me and that I'll be catching up on some reading at the library. They were like worried parents making sure I brought food, my phone is on so they could reach me and Isaac even gave me his hoodie in case I got cold, the hoodie definitely came in handy as the library was freezing. While I was reading my English literature assignment, someone pulled the chair across from me and when I looked up, no suprise there, it was Scott. 

When he said he was happy to see me back in school, I just looked back down to my assignment and didn't acknowledge him. Since it was a long table, I could see from the corner of my eye that Allison and Lydia was siting on the other end of it.

"Look Stiles" he started off but I cut him off.

"Don't Scott, I don't want to do this, not here, not now, maybe not ever okay? Please?"

"I'm sorry." He obviously ignored my plea.

"I can't do this now Scott." I stared packing up my things that were scattered on the table. Once I got out of the library, he ran so that he could block me.

"I know I messed up okay? I'm just trying to fix things, you're my best friend." That last sentence got my anger peaking.

"I don't have one!" I looked at him angrily. I shoved him out of the way as I made mine towards the cafeteria and just like this morning, everyone's attention was on me. I looked around the cafeteria for Isaac and Cora and spotted Isaac's frantic waving arms. I walked over and took a seat next to Isaac.

"You look mad, what happened?" Isaac commented.

"Scott happened. Now that he knows what happened he wants to make amends? Why does everyone treat me like I'm an easy target? Just because I never stayed made at him for over 3 days before, he thinks this time it'll be the same? He even have the nerve to say I'm his best friend, after all these mont-" I didn't have the chance the finish my sentence when Isaac shoved something in my mouth. I looked at him wide eyed and he was grinning.

"Curly fries, your favorite, let's not talk about anything that makes you angry and babble anymore okay?" Despite being somewhat friends with him for quite some time, I never realize how Isaac can really make someone feel better by doing unimaginable things like shoving a fistful of curly fries into my mouth, I started chewing with a few of the fries still sticking out of my mouth. "So, you and Derek huh?" His smirk looks like the ones you'll see on serial killers that appear in television dramas. I couldn't talk with my mouth still full so I just made a really confused face but it was a real one cause nothing actually happened between us on Saturday, we didn't talk about it at all on our way back to my house. It's one of those things where you don't need to "make it official" for it to be "official, like how people say "I love you" can be expressed in a million ways without needing to actually say those 3 words out loud. 

Eventually, school ended and I never had a day in my life before with so much attention on me. A few female students came up to me and said they were sorry for what happened and some male students said that they hope I'm feeling better, the nice thing was that they were the ones that didn't bully me even after the night of the party, they didn't join in with the others just to fit in. Not everyone was that nice though, some said I should've took it like a man and a few even role played the video, Cora basically pinned them to the wall and said she would make sure they can never have kids in the future if they keep it up. I'm happy that they are standing up for me but on the other hand, I feel so useless. It's like since I find out the video got out I expect people to empathize with me but I guess I can't expect to see this trait in everyone.

Once I got home, I saw both my dad's and Derek's car parked in the driveway, this is definitely not a scene I'm use to. My dad is usually at work during this time and Derek rarely comes over in a car.

"Dad?" I called out while closing the door.

"In the kitchen."

"What are you doing home?" I leaned against the frame of the kitchen entrance.

"Took the rest of the day off, how was school kid?"

"You would know dad, the school phoned you, they had to." I didn't try to hide the annoyed tone in my voice.

"We're finding out who did it okay? There's nothing to worry about?"

"Why? Why are you trying to find out who put the video online? Why does everyone keep saying that? Dad, the video got out, everyone knows I'm the person the newspaper is talking about so what's the point dad? Why are you trying to find that out? Everyone already knows, removing the video is not going to change facts, maybe it's better this way. Now that everyone knows I'm not a "tattler", at least they now know why I called the cops that night." My voice was raised a little higher than I wanted it to. "I'm sorry dad, I know you're just trying to help okay? I just don't want this to control my life, the more we dig into this the longer it's going to go on, it's never going to end, I just want it over. I'm sorry I raised my voice, I'm just so tired and frustrated, I'm sorry."

"It's okay Stiles, I understand." He comes over to hug me.

"Derek's here?"

"Yeap, upstairs. Got here about an hour ago."

Once I got up to my room I saw him leaning against my study table looking right at me. I dropped my backpack on the floor and went and hug him, this is really the thing that can help make my day, well this and the hug my dad gave me. 

"I see you finally learned how to properly enter someone else's house." I said with a weak smile.


	21. Christmas Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow chapter, I'm still trying to figure out what to write next, sorry.

Stiles' POV

It's Christmas Eve and ever since my last talk with Scott in the library, we haven't spoken since but things did change bit by bit. During break times in school, the pack would sit together where I would just eat and not talk. During classes we would sit in the same section. During lab sessions however unlike in the past where I would pair up with Scott, I pair up with either Isaac or Cora. Scott and I never have a proper conversation anymore, we would make small talk from time to time but that's mostly it.

Every year during Christmas the Mccall and Stilinski household have a tradition of spending the festive holiday together and this year is no different. We would have tea time and eat dinner together on the eve of Christmas and spend the entire night watching Christmas movies until the next morning where we would open presents together. This year Scott and Melissa are spending the Christmas in my house because my dad and I went to their's last year but it's not going to be just us four, my dad knowing there'll be tension between Scott and I, have decided to invite the pack minus Lydia who flew to Switzerland on the first day of Christmas break. When my dad found out about Derek and I, he was very supportive which I found to be shocking because Derek did use to be a suspected murderer who my dad arrested himself but apparently it was because Derek actually asked for permission from my dad about taking me out before actually doing so. I remembered my dad saying "Barely anyone in your generation will do this anymore, he's such a gentleman." I couldn't believe my ears when he told me, who knew Derek who I thought was only capable of growling would be such a gentleman.

I was helping my dad preparing the ingredients in the kitchen when the door bell rang. My dad was about to go get it when I said I would do it instead.

"Hey, come on in." I showed Melissa and Scott a small smile while stepping aside to let them into the house.

"Hey Stiles, it's great to see some color on your face again." Melissa commented.

"Thanks, I'll get that for you." I take some bags that I assume contain some groceries from her hand and put it on the kitchen counter top.

Melissa and my dad went on to have a conversation on their own while Scott and I are basically trying to stare at everything but each other.

"Erm, Scott, why don't you just sit in the living room and wait, the rest would be here soon."

"Is Derek not here yet?"

"Not yet, he's on his way, he had to do some last minute shopping." With that, we sat on the opposite ends of the couch with only the sounds from the television filling the room. After a few minutes which seems like forever, he spoke first.

"So, when did Derek and you, you know?" He sounds like he was too embarrassed to say the words "start to go out".

"After the trial I guess, it just kinda happened." And then it went back to utter silence between us until the door bell rang again, fortunately, and I went to greet the guests.

"Come on in, you know where to put everything." I smiled at the three standing in the doorway a little wider than when I welcomed Melissa and Scott into the house. Isaac and Cora went straight to the kitchen but Derek stayed in the doorway. "Done with your last minute shopping?"

"Well it wasn't exactly last minute shopping, more like last minute baking." He held up three cupcake holder boxes. "The bottom one is especially for you since I put a lot of peanut butter in them."

"Thanks, you can just leave it on the living room table."

Isaac's friendship with Scott is on the mend, they definitely talk more now in comparison to when they just argued but Cora who is on Team Stiles is hostile towards Scott even though Scott tries hard to make conversation with her. Every conversation they had usually ends after 2 sentences when Cora makes a sarcastic remark. Derek and Scott's relationship is probably the worse, Derek just pretends Scott doesn't exist most of the time but I told him to hold back as much as he could today for the sake of our parents.

"Scott." Derek said right after he stepped into the living room.

"Wow, didn't think you'll acknowledge me." Scott answered with a sarcastic smile.

"Wouldn't have if I wasn't asked to be nice by Stiles." With that Derek sat at the opposite end of the couch where it was supposedly my seat.

Isaac and Cora conveniently chose this time to walk into the living room, possibly preventing World War 3. Cora as usual rolled her eyes at Scott (it was her form of a greeting) while Isaac gave him a nod as a hello, then Isaac and Cora fight over what DVD they wanted to watch. In the middle of their DVD argument, Derek and I decided to help my dad and Melissa out in the kitchen where we would be more at ease and when we came back out Allison was already in the living room sitting on Scott's lap making out with him. The old me would ask them to get a room but the new me just went over to the table to grab the cupcakes. Allison said hey to me when she spotted me and I just flashed her a smile that was very evidently forced. I put the first two boxes in the fridge and took the last one up to my room. Derek and I didn't actually have anything in particular we wanted to do up in my room, we just feel a lot more comfortable away from people.

"Do you feel okay with spending Christmas with all of us around this year?" Derek said while playing around with my hair.

"I'm definitely not ecstatic with Scott around but we've done this every year and it honestly feels a lot better with you around this year." He smiles at me and I have to resist the urge to tell him that smiling is a good look on him because I've said it probably a thousand times already since we got together. "Let's watch a movie together on my laptop before dinner starts." I went to grab my laptop and we decided to put on 'Ender's Game'. He lay back onto the headboard with his arm supporting his head while Iay beside him.

Derek's POV

An hour into watching 'Ender's Game", Stiles fell asleep with his head on my chest. Isaac and Cora came up to call us down for dinner and nearly woke Stiles up because they were wrestling each other on the way up and nearly knocked down the room door, I signaled them to keep quiet while I carefully place Stiles' head onto the pillow while I stand up making sure not to move the bed too much.

"Stiles fell asleep so we can just keep aside some food and I'll heat it up for him later when he wakes up." I told the sheriff when I walked into the dining room.

"Well with him asleep I can now eat lesser health foods." Melissa chuckled and say she would take Stiles' place for the night and monitor his food intake. 

My seat was unfortunately next to Scott and it sucked needing to resist the urge to bring my claws out. I kept quiet during the entire dinner but it was definitely not quiet, the sheriff and Melissa would talk about Scott and Stiles, Scott and Allison would whisper all the time and from time to time kiss and Isaac and Cora would argue about anything basically, it's like their mouths itches if they kept quiet for a moment when the other is around. I mostly just focus my hearing on Stiles just in case he has a nightmare like he occasionally would and to see when he'll wake up. Even when I finished my dinner I had to sit at the dining table to be polite and luckily that didn't last very long when I heard the bed sheets in Stiles' room shuffle indicating he's waking up and I went to take his food out from the refrigerator to heat up, the sheriff looked at me questioningly.

"Stiles waking up." I said while leaning onto the refrigerator. Honestly, in a room filled with people who don't know how to ease a tension between two former best friends is the worst thing ever, it feels weird and everything I say just feels so awkward because I don't feel like I belong here when Stiles isn't with me.

"Hey." Stiles greeted everyone in the dining room with his hoodie over his head which I suspect is to cover his bed head.

"Hey kiddo." The sheriff greeted him. "Derek is heating up your dinner in the kitchen."

He then walked across the dining room and into the kitchen and came to my side where he took my right hand into both of his and leaned onto me.

"Had a good sleep?" I whispered into his ear, that's as much as our public display of affection go, we don't eat each other's faces in public or have sex in the car or sneak around like Scott and Allison do. We hold hands, hug and whisper to each in public and we don't mind doing these in front of other people which includes the sheriff and Cora.

"Hm-mm" He nodded. "One of the best I had in weeks. Maybe it's because of your chest." He whispered the last part into my ear and I could't help my smile, it's nice seeing him being able to joke again.

"Then I guess you'll have a really good sleep tonight." I whispered back.


End file.
